The computer is not what relaxes me, as Rita claims; it’s the shower. While I cannot remember specifically, I cannot imagine I wasn’t showering at the very least every other day. When I’m depressed or anxious, I could spend the entire time in the shower if there was enough hot water. I think a lot of people are like this.
I’m not sure what she means by saying I was always “down” in the spring and fall. I have had only one short anxiety attack in the spring, and until 2001 I had never had anything like this. Going through debilitating depression issues while in school would have been devastating academically, and I hate to see students deal with this. As I’ve mentioned, I have always been an anxious person and an overactive worrier, but what happened in and after 2001 was completely different. I recall seeing a public lecture at Penn State by chemistry professor Anne Andrews who studies serotonin levels. She discussed how the combination of being an overly anxious person and having traumatic experiences correlates very well with someone having anxiety and depression issues. I feel like I would be a textbook case.
These statements illustrate again Rita attempting to convince the judge that things were bad and getting worse. Making people fear for what could happen in the future is a great way to gain their support. Unfortunately, the boy that cried, “Wolf!” seems to have been forgotten.
Later Rita would even lie about this more when she said the following.
Q. Throughout the course of your marriage and the time he — you were experiencing this difficulty with him, did you have arguments about his being responsible to refill the prescription or not?
A. I didn’t mind doing it, but I would get quite annoyed that he would let it run out and I didn’t know or I would have to run out that day because he hadn’t had it for a few days. In the summer, he was pretty forgetful about taking his medications because he wasn’t on a regular schedule for work. So at those times, yes, I would get frustrated and have arguments with him. You need to take this. It says not to stop taking it abruptly and things like that, and it is something that has to be in your system several weeks for it to work and stay working.
Q. How often and when do you think those trips [to the hospital] were?
A. In the first few years of his major depression after Amanda was born, I would say he was hospitalized probably at least once or twice a year, and then it got better for a while, but still having issues but not needing hospitalization so much, and then it picked back up a little over the last few years.
I sometimes forgot to take my medication in the summers because I didn’t have a regular schedule. However, it was never more than a couple of times per week at the most. It also never really had any effect because, in the summer, I never had any problems. I have talked with doctors a few times about not taking it in the summers, but now it seems best to be consistent. I also don’t recall ever not taking it because the prescription had run out. I had a standing prescription from Dr. DeCarle for the medicine and could get more at any point. Plus, for most of the time, I would get a three-month supply in the mail.
The statement about hospitalizations is entirely not true, and of course, she didn’t bring any proof to support her claim. As I’ve said, there were two hospitalizations in the twelve years before Rita filed for divorce, i.e., nowhere near “at least once or twice a year.” Unfortunately, I also didn’t have any evidence to dispute her. Again, this is one of the problems with civil hearings where you have no idea what a witness might say. Plus, disproving the claim would have required someone from the hospital to be willing to testify. I could have brought my medical records, but then Tonia would say they weren’t complete, with no third party to verify them. Dr. DeCarle, who would testify later, didn’t start seeing me until after the second year.
Q. So let’s talk about, what is the current custody arrangement?
A. He has them on Thursdays and Sundays, 4:00 to 8:00 on Thursdays and 11:00 to 7:00 on Sundays.
Q. And when did that schedule begin?
A. I do believe it was the first part of May. May 1st I think was the first week it started.
Q. Was that new schedule something that the Court instituted? How did you come up with that schedule?
A. Basically, I came up with that schedule with you and I, and we submitted it to his attorney, and then Eric contacted me agreeing to it, and that’s how we got started.
Q. Prior to that visitation schedule, what had the visitation periods been like with the children from January 2013 on?
A. He got ordered to have supervised visitation at the center here in Bellefonte, and that was once a week for two hours, if I remember correctly.
Q. And how often did you miss the supervised visits?
A. We never missed a visit. We had an incident where I do believe Mae or Amanda, one of them was sick, and I asked if we could reschedule. Any time something came up — we also had ice show rehearsals; that was an incident of we couldn’t make that week. I said was there a different day that we can do. The center was pretty helpful about working out a different schedule, So he wouldn’t actually miss the time. It might have switched days, and we actually I think one week — he had two visits in one week just to make up for that one time where I think it was during ice show, if I remember correctly.
Q. So let’s talk about, what is the current custody arrangement?
A. He has them on Thursdays and Sundays, 4:00 to 8:00 on Thursdays and 11:00 to 7:00 on Sundays.
Q. And when did that schedule begin?
A. I do believe it was the first part of May. May 1st I think was the first week it started.
Q. Was that new schedule something that the Court instituted? How did you come up with that schedule?
A. Basically, I came up with that schedule with you and I, and we submitted it to his attorney, and then Eric contacted me agreeing to it, and that’s how we got started.
She acted like I had not been pushing to see the kids, and she had to force them on me. I had grown tired of fighting about custody time in the courts, which was also getting expensive, and agreed to her proposal because it seemed reasonable.
Q. Prior to that visitation schedule, what had the visitation periods been like with the children from January 2013 on?
A. He got ordered to have supervised visitation at the center here in Bellefonte, and that was once a week for two hours, if I remember correctly.
I got ordered because Tonia threw an oversized fit in front of the judge that I was not mentally fit enough to have the kids unsupervised. The supervised visits went well, and the people supervising them told the court that they were unnecessary after a few of them.
Q. And how often did you miss the supervised visits?
A. We never missed a visit. We had an incident where I do believe Mae or Amanda, one of them was sick, and I asked if we could reschedule. Any time something came up — we also had ice show rehearsals; that was an incident of we couldn’t make that week. I said was there a different day that we can do. The center was pretty helpful about working out a different schedule, So he wouldn’t actually miss the time. It might have switched days, and we actually I think one week — he had two visits in one week just to make up for that one time where I think it was during ice show, if I remember correctly.
This question was a preemptive one because Tonia knew Rita had missed visits because she was in Michigan. While one of the kids may have been sick, that would not have been an issue if she had been in Pennsylvania at the time. I do not recall rescheduling the missed visits because there was limited availability.
Q. Okay. Since you have started this supervised visitation schedule, have there been missed days and times because of you?
A. I usually — if something comes up, for instance, I think Caleb had a field trip, I would say, the kids have a field trip or something, I said, what would you like to do, your thoughts on it, and I would work out a schedule that he wouldn’t miss his days.Q. Okay. I’m showing you what’s been marked as Plaintiff’s Exhibit 15. Can you identify that for me?
A. Certainly. This is just a schedule I kept on the fridge so I would know when the kids were with Eric and keep track of the visits.
Q. Now during the period of May, did Mr. Mockensturm keep the children for the full period, the full four hours and full —
A. Part of my knowledge, just briefly looking over this, I don’t think he ever kept them for the full four hours or the full time on a Sunday.
I don’t recall the actual arrangement at this point, but it seems pretty informal from text messages. These messages suggest Rita wanted my dad present, and I had agreed to this to appease her. Thus, many of the visits depended on my dad being free, which he was most of the time.
Part of the problem was that the apartment was too small to contain two adults and three children. Plus, I had nothing there for them to do because Rita had kept all their things at the house. And even if they brought things, there was no place for them to use them. The apartment was barely large enough to contain a bed and a tiny kitchen area. Thus, I was always trying to find a place to take them. Finding somewhere to go would have been no problem if they had any of the same interests. However, a 14-year-old boy, an 11-year-old girl, and a 4-year-old girl have no overlapping interests. I see from text messages that I asked Rita many times to have them one or two at a time. She always refused.
Rita would always tell me that it was the kids that wanted these restrictions. For example, she said it was the kids that wanted to visit together. When I would ask her why, she would tell me, “That’s what they said.” I think she knew that I’d likely never ask them directly about it, and if I did and they denied it, she could always say, “Well, that’s what they told me.” She also told me that the kids were the ones that wanted my dad to be there. When I pressed her on why this was, she said she’d promised them that she wouldn’t tell me. When I pressed her further, she said she’d need to talk to her lawyer.
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