Q. How many hours would he give up, for lack of a better word?
A. Usually the visits were like 4:00 to 8:00, and he would do like 5:00 to 7:00, and there were a few times I see he was gone. One Sunday I think he only did three hours, if I remember correctly. I think it was May 3rd; I think it says 5:00 to 7:00. This is kind of dark. I can’t quite read what it says. And there was another Sunday he did like 4:30 to 7:15, and our agreement was 7:00, but he did text me to say could they be a few minutes late. But most times it’s just a few hours here and there.
I was undoubtedly not picking them up late as we had an exchange place, and I would have text messages telling Rita I would be late. As is clear from the sample of text messages**, the custody schedule didn’t seem well established, and as Rita stated, it was something that had simply been agreed upon by the two of us.
Q. Did — as a result of this sort of change in the physical custody schedule, did you begin receiving some text messages from Mr. Mockensturm?
A. Yeah. We were he was allowed to text me based on anything for the kids, from the kids’ standpoint. He could ask me questions about the kids, how they were and things like that.
Q. I’m showing you what’s been marked as Plaintiff’s Exhibit 16. Can you identify that for the record?
A. Sure. This is my cell phone that he uses to text me on.
Q. And can you just — in turning to page — just kind of explain to everybody why we’re looking at a phone here.
A. This was a message he sent to me when we first started with this agreement. It says, I’m not sure I can keep them all entertained for four hours.
My records show I sent this message on April 30, 2013–see above–and it’s part of the first conversation we seem to have had via text message after the PFA was finally modified to allow this.
Q. Do you recall when this was sent to you?
A. I don’t, and it’s not on there. You have to actually scroll down to see it. I can’t remember when it was sent.
Q. But was it sent within the time period that you’ve been doing this —
A. Yes.
Q. — few hours of visitation?
A. This text message would coincide with sometime on this calendar here in May.
Q. Okay.
A. That was probably one of the very first visits he was supposed to have with them.
Q. Keep going through the text messages. Did you respond to these?
A. Some I do; some I don’t. Some I honestly don’t know what to say back, so I say nothing.
Q. So if you look at the next
A. He’s always asking me it says, I’ll try to figure something out to keep them all entertained. Any time he has a visit he texts me, what do you think I should do with the kids. I sometimes give suggestions. Like going to the library was my suggestion. Sometimes I ask the kids, what do you guys want to do, and I would relay that information to him.
I frequently asked her if they’d mentioned to her anything, in particular, they’d like to do so I could make plans for doing it. As seen in the sample text message exchanges, it was usually both of us bouncing around ideas. A lot depended on how Amanda was feeling and what she and Caleb had going on after school.
Q. So if you look at the next text message exchange, can you explain the context of this text message and note for the Court the date?
A. Certainly. The reason I saved this one was because he was gone on the 12th. We had text back and forth, and I was getting confused on what days he said he was going to be gone. So I asked him if he could just text me the actual dates so I could write it down. It was just getting too confusing to try to figure out what days he was going to be gone.
Q. And as a result of that missed Sunday appointment, did you offer to make it up?
A. He asked if we could make it up, and that’s when I said do you want to come on a Tuesday instead. So I know if he misses a day, if he wants to make it up, I certainly try to meet his needs. I will offer another day.
The entire schedule seemed to be very fluid, as you can see from the text messages. These are very representative of what would typically happen. Something would come up with one of the kids, or they had plans, and we’d adjust the schedule. Likewise, if I had something to do, we would change things. As I later felt that Rita was using this nebulous schedule to her advantage and taking the kids to Michigan frequently, I pushed to get something from the court in writing.
A. So that led up to this. He wrote okay, but you do remember it’s your birthday, right? So that, I said she could go — what about tomorrow. Tomorrow wasn’t good. Tuesday was better, which was my birthday and so — and then the next one says, I’m such a good husband to remind you of your birthday but don’t expect a present. I didn’t respond to that text message. I didn’t really know what to say to that, and that Tuesday of the 21st, which is my birthday, he did have them from 5:00 to 7:30.
Q. So what’s that last text message, though?
A. You can give them some money, and I can take them shopping, with a smirky smiley face I guess is what you’d call it.
Q. And what was that in reference to?
A. I assume what he was getting at was that if I gave them money he could take them birthday shopping for me.
Q. There’s a Protection From Abuse Order in this matter, correct?
A. Yes.
Q. Now, those last couple of text messages that you received, did you call the police?
A. I —
Q. On those specific text messages, did you?
A. Honestly, I don’t remember if I did or not. I think I might have called to ask them if that was a violation or not. I didn’t pursue it as a violation. I just — I wanted to know, so I had clarity on what my protection was.
Q. When he sent that to you, how did you feel? Did you have any concerns, and if so, can you explain those to the Court?
A. It was unsettling, very uncomfortable. It wasn’t anything to do with the kids, so it upset me, and although he probably thought it was funny, I didn’t find it funny at all. And it made me pretty mad.
Q. Now, since the entry of the PFA I’m showing you what’s been marked as Plaintiff’s Exhibit 13. Can you identify that for the record?
A. That is a computer that is up in my room that I sometimes use and what my kids use for doing homework and stuff on. That’s a screen shot of that computer.
Q. Can you explain what this is a screen shot of?
A. This is — basically, you have a program, I think it’s on your iPhone, your iPad or any Apple product has the reminders. So it’s like a calendar that pops up. It tells you what your reminders are for the day. So this popped up on my computer or family computer at home, and my son was sitting down to do homework when this came up.
Q. And is this a screen shot of your phone?
A. No. This is a screen shot of the computer that Caleb was sitting in front of.
Q. And what is that a screen shot of?
A. That’s Eric’s To Do list essentially.
Q. What is at the top of his To Do list?
A. Fuck with Rita.
Q. I know this is a bad copy, but can you discern what the date of that is?
A. It looks like January 13, 2013.
Q. What was your son’s reaction to this?
A. He yelled. He was mad. He made a fist and hit the desk. He is like, why is dad saying these things about you. He was pretty hurt, and then he got scared.
Q. Keep going through that document; what’s the next thing we’re looking at?
A. I’m not sure which iPod it was, Caleb’s or Amanda’s. They both look the same, but the calendar alarmed. We don’t have them on wifi so occasionally when we can pick up a free wifi or we get wifi, this is Eric’s calendar that he has that syncs up with their devices basically. He set up their iPods. He has their Apple ID and their passwords and stuff, and this is his calendar, and this popped up as an alarm on I do believe it was Amanda’s iPod.
Q. Okay, and what does it say?
A. It’s that bitch’s mom’s birthday.
Q. The, the —
A. I’m sorry, the bitch’s mom’s birthday.
Q. How did you take this?
A. This is about my mom, but it’s more about me.
Q. Okay, and the date of that?
A. February 14th.
Q. What year?
A. 2013.
Q. Now, what are we looking at here as it relates to —
A. The next ones are Facebook posts that he wrote.
Q. Can you just read that?
A. Certainly. I would like to thank everyone for their thoughts and offers to talk.
THE WITNESS: Sorry. I would like to thank everyone for their thoughts and offers to talk. I spent most of the morning running around, and I have a place to stay temporarily. After pouring over HR policies, I think my job is pretty secure although I’m not sure I want it. I’m still looking for a new wife.
BY MS. TORQUATO:
Q. And the one below.
A. Spent the night calculating finances and moving on as a single man. Someone is going to shit their pants sometime later today.
Q. And when did you discover these?
A. My sister-in-law called me. She was quite concerned, and he’s friends with her on Facebook, but not only is he friends with her I have a lot — we have a lot of childhood friends in common. We worked in the same areas and stuff through high school. I had some friends calling me that said these were being posted, and they were concerned for my safety.
THE WITNESS: I met lots of people on both sides of the law with lots of devious ways to get back at women falsely accusing them of abuse. Lots of information to parse. And that was posted — I don’t see the date on here, but I do know that was posted on the day he was released from jail.
Q. Okay. Let’s stop there for a second. How do these postings make you feel?
A. I was quite scared honestly. I didn’t know exactly what he meant by some of them. I certainly didn’t know what he was going to say or not say to the kids, if it was going to be truthful or not. I had no idea. Every day I woke up not knowing what I was going to face, and I certainly think that was his goal, was making me scared every day, and he did.
Q. Have you told your kids not to tell Mr. Mockensturm your whereabouts?
A. Yes.
Q. Why?
A. I don’t want him knowing where I’m at. I’ve been trapped in the past by him, and I didn’t like it, and with the PFA and everything, I just think it’s in the best interest that he not know where I’m at so nothing would happen with me or even happen with the kids. I kept it I told them, you know, let’s just not do it because it’s really in my best interest, and I didn’t tell them why. I just told them, you know, it’s better if doesn’t know. And they know about the PFA. They were there when the police came, and they know some extent of it, and I just said, you know, it’s better if we don’t say anything to dad. And it was for my safety. I really didn’t want him to know where I was at.
Again, I regret these actions, but I had no idea anyone else could see anything but the Facebook post. The birthday-present comment was half-serious as it would have been something they all might have liked doing. However, I didn’t want to spend money on a gift for her.
I have no idea what she’s talking about being trapped by me. I never physically trapped her, and I don’t think she felt emotionally or psychologically trapped. I can see how she might have felt financially trapped, but I could do nothing about that. I certainly wasn’t giving her an allowance; she handled the finances for many years. It’s possible she felt trapped by my worrying, and we certainly didn’t always agree on how much time to spend in Michigan.
I have included the entire cross-examination Rose did of Rita because it addresses many things that she testified to during direct examination. This part is also where the real courtroom drama started as Rose’s first question to Rita was, “What about Mike?” After Tonia realized that Rita had had an affair with him, she flipped out and tried to object to Rose asking Rita about it, but Judge Ruest overruled it, and Rita just responded, “Yep.”
CROSS-EXAMINATION
BY MS. KAUFFMAN:
Q. So what about Mike?
A. What about Mike?
Q. Yes; what about Mike?
A. What do you want to know?
Q. Well, isn’t it true one of the reasons — one of the very big reasons you’re moving back to Michigan is because of Mike?
A. No.
Q. Mike has nothing to do with why you’re moving back to Michigan?
A. He has nothing to do with it.
Q. Mike lives in Michigan?
A. Yes, he does.
Q. And you’ve been having an affair with Mike for over a year-and-a-half.
MS. TORQUATO: Objection; relevance.
MS. KAUFFMAN: I think it is exactly relevant to your witness and her reasons for wanting to move to Michigan.
MS. TORQUATO: You can ask what you’ve asked, but to ask whether she’s been having an affair is not relevant.
MS. KAUFFMAN: It is relevant because it’s relevant as to why she’s moving back to Michigan.
THE COURT: Overruled.
BY MS. KAUFFMAN:
Q. So you’ve been having an affair with Mike for over a year-and-a-half?
A. Yep.
Q. And you’ve met with Mike, left the kids sometimes with Mr. Mockensturm to go to see Mike?
A. And other people.
Q. And you’ve left the kids with other people to go to see Mike?
A. Yes. I mean, I have left my kids with my sister while I job hunt in Michigan, but not just to see Mike.
Q. But you have seen Mike when you’re in Michigan?
A. Certainly.
Q. And the kids have stayed overnight at Mike’s house?
A. A couple of times.
Q. And in fact, you indicated earlier that you had a — twice you had to cancel meetings when they were supervised because once Amanda was sick, and the second there was an ice show rehearsal; do you remember that?
A. That’s correct.
Q. But your sister testified that at that time you were in Michigan; isn’t that true?
A. My sister took the kids one time to visitation. That is true.
It was news to me that Debbie brought the kids to one supervised visitation. Reading this indicates that Rita was in Michigan at the time, and Debbie drove them to Pennsylvania for my visit and then drove them back to Michigan afterward. This visit must have been the time Amanda was so upset. I feel horrible about this because she must have been having a nervous breakdown for the entire trip. Amanda did eventually settle down, so I hope the trip back wasn’t as horrible. I wish she’d have just told me what was wrong, but I suspect she thought it would look bad on her mom.