I’m not exactly sure what emotional toll me texting Amanda, “I love you,” and Rita a period had on her. There were reasons I did those things, and they were in no way meant to be abusive or threatening. However, Judge Ruest has to keep up her politically correct views to get reelected, so she says she takes the violations “seriously.”
She then states that she thought I did not pose a “continued” risk of harming the kids or Rita. I wonder if she ever thought I posed a threat to them. Although she makes this statement, she did not dismiss the PFA order that I was subject to for two more years. I think that Judge Ruest and many other people in this country believe that every woman should have a PFA, so they have recourse whenever they feel slightly intimidated or threatened.
3. The parental duties performed by each party on behalf of the child.
Mother performs the majority of the parental duties for the children. During the parties’ marriage, Mother was primarily responsible for meeting the daily needs of all three children. Mother has continued to do so since the parties separated. Mother has also always been primarily responsible for Amanda’s significant medical needs. Father assisted the children with homework, and was primarily responsible for working with Caleb’s teachers to create his Individualized Education Plan (IEP). Recently, Mother has become more involved with Caleb’s teachers and his IEP. Father cared for the children on the weekends when Mother worked part-time.
4. The need for stability and continuity in the child’s education, family life and community life.
The children have always resided in the State College community, but their stability was sometimes negatively affected by Father’s mental health issues. Amanda has received significant medical care from her doctors in Hershey, Pennsylvania, over the years. She has had approximately 11 surgeries, and will continue to need surgery as she grows.
All three children will be changing schools next year regardless of whether they relocate to Michigan. Caleb will be entering high school; Amanda will be transitioning to middle school; and Amelia will be starting kindergarten.
Mother has worked to keep the children’s lives as stable as possible throughout the parties’ separation; they continue to live in the marital home, she has maintained the same schedules and routines, and she continues to have a strong relationship with all three children.
The problem was that Rita did not want to keep their lives stable as she wanted to uproot them. She did not want to live in the marital home, nor did she want them to retain the exact schedules and routines. Keeping things stable was all done out of necessity because Rita was legally not permitted to move.
5. The availability of extended family.
The children do not have significant family ties in the State College area. The children are close with their Maternal Grandmother and Maternal Aunt, who live in Michigan. Additionally, they spend time with Mother’s more extended family in Michigan each summer. Mother’s nephew James also lived with the family for a period, and the children are close with him. Father has extended family in the Michigan area as well.
The children are also close with their Paternal Grandfather, who spends part of each year at his home in Everett, Pennsylvania.
In the six years since moving, the kids have seen my father once. Besides my aunt and uncle, who I stay with when I visit, they have not seen anyone else from my family. Rita certainly isn’t offering to drive them to Pennsylvania or Maryland for visits even though the drive to my dad’s house in Pennsylvania from Michigan is the same distance to State College.
6. The child’s sibling relationships.
The children have lived together since they were born and no evidence was presented to suggest that the children should be separated from one another. In the absence of such evidence the Court recognizes that it is in the children’s best interest to be raised together.
7. The well-reasoned preference of the child, based on the child’s maturity and judgment.
No evidence was presented regarding the children’s preferences.
8. The attempts of a parent to turn the child against the other parent, except in cases of domestic violence where reasonable safety measures are necessary to protect the child from harm.
Although Father has posted inappropriately about Mother through various social media and technologies, and Mother has asked the children not to tell Father their whereabouts at times, and has filed a PFA which seriously impacted his time with the children, it appears that these have been isolated incidents. It does not appear that either parent is trying to turn the children against the other parent.
I’m not sure if Rita was directly trying to turn the kids against me, but she kept telling me they were afraid. Again, I have no idea if this is true or not, as they never seemed afraid of me or said anything to indicate they were. If they were, however, it was utterly Rita’s doing through her paranoid thoughts.
9. Which party is more likely to maintain a loving, stable, consistent and nurturing relationship with the child adequate for the child’s emotional needs.
Both parties appear to be capable of maintaining relationships with the children that suit their emotional needs. Father has a history of periods of depression, during which he has not been able to maintain relationships with the children that suit their emotional needs. Mother testified that Father has been more attentive to the children since the parties’ separation.
10. Which party is more likely to attend to the daily physical, emotional, developmental, educational and special needs of the child.
Mother has demonstrated a greater ability and interest in attending to the children’s daily emotional, developmental, educational, and special needs. Father testified that the parties maintained traditional roles throughout their marriage, and that the children are all very close with Mother. Father has been actively involved in the children’s education, helping them with homework and working to establish Caleb’s IEP.
It annoys me that she thinks Rita demonstrated a better ability and interest in attending to the kids’ “daily emotional, developmental, educational, and special needs.” I certainly could do those things if Rita had been working and I was a stay-at-home dad. I also was interested in those things, but someone had to earn money, which was entirely my job because Rita couldn’t.
11. The proximity of the residences of the parties.
Mother currently resides in the marital residence in State College. Father currently resides in temporary housing within State College, and intends to stay in the area. The parties will likely sell the marital residence, and it is unclear where Mother intends to live if she is not permitted to relocate. Mother seeks to relocate to Maybee, Michigan, which is approximately 6.5 hours from State College.
12. Each party’s availability to care for the child or ability to make appropriate childcare arrangements.
Both parties are able to care for or make appropriate child care arrangements for Caleb and Amelia. However, Mother and her relatives who live in Maybee, Michigan, are the only people who Amanda will let help her with her medical needs. Father has had very little involvement in Amanda’s medical care throughout her life, and would not be able to manage her significant medical needs without Mother’s help. Although it appears that Amanda will be able to handle her care on her own in a few years, she currently needs constant adult supervision to ensure her conditions are properly handled and to avoid emergency hospitalizations.
I am confident that I could have managed Amanda’s medical care if needed. However, with Amanda being a pre-teen at the time and her issues relating to “private” areas of her body, I think it was best that Rita, or a woman, was around to help her.
13. The level of conflict between the parties and the willingness and ability of the parties to cooperate with one another. A party’s effort to protect a child from abuse by another party is not evidence of unwillingness or inability to cooperate with that party.
Despite the PFA Order and inappropriate postings to social media, Mother is cooperative with Father. Mother assisted Father by taking him to the hospital even after their marital separation. Father did not seem to understand the gravity of the situation when Mother obtained a PFA Order, but he appears to have learned to cooperate with Mother as well.
Rita did not take me to the hospital after the separation. We were still living together. The police would have arrested me for violating the PFA order if she had taken me to the hospital after the split.
Next page…