While I can understand her wanting to keep the relationship with Mike a secret, she continued to have the kids lie to me after learning I knew of the relationship. There were multiple instances where Amelia had to change her story after realizing she had said something she should not have. None of the things she told me were any big deal, and I have no idea why she thought her mother would be upset if I knew.
Rita always acted like I was trying to track her when I could not have cared less where she was. I wanted to know generally where my kids were and if they were safe.
While I never once asked Rita what she was doing, I frequently asked the kids what they were doing. Rita portrayed this as me trying to figure out what she was doing. She never realized that I never asked what she was doing when the kids were with me. I didn’t care.
6. Whether the relocation will enhance the general quality of life for the party seeking the relocation, including, but not limited to, financial or emotional benefit or educational opportunity.
Relocation would enhance Mother’s general quality of life because she would receive emotional support and childcare assistance. Mother has not had a solid night’s sleep in 11 years due to Amanda’s medical conditions. Mother needs help caring for Amanda, and her family can offer that help in Michigan. Additionally, Mother’s paramour lives in Michigan and that relationship affords her emotional support.
Mother’s financial situation is likely to change regardless of whether relocation is granted. The biggest drain on Mother’s finances appears to be the marital residence. Father has agreed to refinance the existing mortgage and home equity loans, but Mother indicates that she does not wish to remain in the marital residence if she stays in State College. It therefore appears that the parties will sell the marital residence. If Mother stays in State College, she could find more affordable housing. If Mother moves to Michigan, she has the opportunity to live with her sister and brother-in-law for a low rent of $200/month for up to two years. Mother has a job in State College that is guaranteed through the next school year. She would likely be able to get a similar job in Michigan, but she has not obtained employment there.
Mother did not present testimony about any intention to further her education.
This factor weighs in favor of relocation.
Again, I would agree with Judge Ruest. It sure seemed like it would benefit Rita to move to Michigan. However, I wonder if it’s worked out as she planned. I understand that she doesn’t get the help and support she thought she would get from her family, and from what I estimate Mike must make as a team leader at Ford, money really should not be a tight as Rita makes it seem. I, however, suspect that Mike has been unwilling to make any sacrifices in his spending for Rita or the kids.
7. Whether the relocation will enhance the general quality of life for the child, including, but not limited to, financial or emotional benefit or educational opportunity.
It appears that the children can have a high quality of life in State College and Maybee, Michigan, alike. Relocation would afford the children the opportunity to spend more time with Mother’s extended family, with whom they are close. They would benefit emotionally from Mother’s enhanced quality of life because she is their primary caretaker. Additionally, Amanda would benefit from having additional caretakers to assist with her significant medical needs.
However, relocation would be detrimental to the children’s emotional attachment to their father and their education, in particular Caleb’s education. Although there was testimony suggesting that the smaller class sizes in Michigan would suit him, there was also testimony that he would adjust to State College’s high school well. State College has a better rated school system than the schools near Maybee, Michigan, and is better prepared to provide for Caleb’s special educational needs. All three children would benefit from remaining in the State College school system.
This factor is neutral.
I would disagree with Judge Ruest on this point, and I’m not sure how she concluded the class sizes in Dundee were smaller than in State College. There was testimony that the student-to-teacher ratio in State College was 13 to 1 while it was 23 to 1 in Dundee.
I think the smaller overall size of the school may have benefitted Caleb some; I also feel that it ultimately hurt him. State College provided many more opportunities for him, and living in a city with excellent public transportation would have made Caleb’s life so much better. I’m sure he would have wanted to play video games all day in State College too, but he would not have an excuse that he has nowhere to go and no method to get anywhere.
I think Rita overstated how much better her quality of life would be living in Dundee. From my experience, her family relied on her as much as Rita relied on them. Thus, while Rita talked about all the extra support provided to her, she never mentioned all the additional support required. While I doubt Rita would ever tell me truthfully if things weren’t as great as she expected, it almost certainly isn’t since she seemed to have convinced herself the grass was greener (where the dogs are shitting – Soundgarden).
8. The reasons and motivation of each party for seeking or opposing the relocation.
Mother’s stated motivation for seeking relocation is access to her extended family who can help her with childcare. Specifically, Mother desires regular assistance tending to Amanda’s significant medical needs. Mother needs help, and that help is available in Michigan. However, Mother was not forthcoming about her relationship with her paramour in Michigan. This calls into question the true motivation behind her request.
Father’s motivation in opposing relocation is that he wants to have a regular, daily relationship with his three children, and he does not want to leave his tenured faculty position at The Pennsylvania State University. The family needs Father’s regular income because he is the main breadwinner. Additionally, Father believes it is important for the children to continue to live in State College, which has always been their home. Father’s motives in opposing relocation appear to be based upon the children’s best interests.
This factor is neutral.
I suppose I agree with this. However, I might say it was a factor slightly against relocation because while Rita had wanted to move to Michigan for a long time, it was not until Mike came into the picture that she started pushing hard for it.
9. The present and past abuse committed by a party or member of the party’s household and whether there is a continued risk of harm to the child or an abused party.
The Court does not believe that Father poses a continued risk to the children or Mother, as described in its discussion under factor 2 of 23 Pa.C.S.A § 5328(a) above.
Again, so why did Judge Ruest issue a protective order for three years? I honestly think that the statute should limit these orders to six months because if there’s continued abuse, the court can continually renew the order. If it expires, the plaintiff can always apply for a new one. As I’ve said, someone intent on causing serious harm to someone will not wait to do it until a court order expires.
Based on the foregoing, the Court determines it is in the children’s best interest to be in Mother’s primary physical custody. Father will have escalating visitation rights under the Court’s supervision. The Court further finds that it is in the children’s best interest to remain in State College, Pennsylvania, and not to relocate to Maybee, Michigan.
Thank you, Judge Ruest. Although I still blame you for setting this whole story in motion.
Due to financial and logistical concerns, the Court does not believe that the children will be able to maintain their relationship with Father if they relocate to Michigan. Father has ongoing issues with depression and anxiety, and a recent bipolar II disorder diagnosis, but those issues do not pose a risk to the children. Father has worked consistently with a psychiatrist for 10 years, follows his psychiatrist’s advice, and has demonstrated that he knows when to seek additional help. The children’s bond with their father is invaluable and should be encouraged. Father’s earnings as a tenured faculty member at The Pennsylvania State University are important to the children and Mother alike. Although it is clear that Mother needs help caring for the children, specifically, Amanda’s medical needs, it is not clear that she cannot obtain help in State College. The State College Area School District is a significantly better rated school district than the available districts in Michigan, and Amanda and Caleb each have a particular need for continuity. Finally, Amanda has received extensive medical treatment, including 11 surgeries, at Hershey, Pennsylvania, and it is anticipated this medical care will be ongoing.
For all the foregoing reasons, the Court denies Mother’s Petition to Relocate. Mother shall continue to have primary physical custody of the children. Father shall have periods of partial physical custody. These custody arrangements along with additional requirements for the parents are set forth below.
This order was the first one concerning custody the court issued, and I was happy they did as Rita was using the vagueness of the previous agreement to prevent me from seeing the kids and provide her more time in Michigan.
Accordingly, the following is entered:
ORDER
AND NOW, this day of 21st (sic) day of August 2013, it is hereby ORDERED as follows:
- Rita Mockensturm (”Mother”) and Eric Mockensturm (”Father”’) shall share legal custody of the minor children, Caleb James Mockensturm (D.O.B. 09/18/1998), Amanda Paige Mockensturm (D.O.B. 10/30/2001), and Amelia Mae Mockensturm (D.O.B. 04/22/2008).
- Mother shall have primary physical custody of the minor children subject to Father’s periods of partial physical custody as follows:
- Every Sunday at from 11:00 am until 7:00 pm;
- Every Monday and Wednesday from 4:00 pm until 7:00 pm;
- At such other times as the parties may agree.
- Father shall continue to receive therapeutic counseling with a licensed mental health professional, to follow the recommendations of his mental health providers, and to take all of his prescribed medications in accordance with their recommendations.
- The parties shall attempt to develop a proposed Parenting Plan to submit to the Court.
- If the attorneys cannot agree on a Parenting Plan, the Court will schedule a conference to determine whether it is in the children’s best interests to expand Father’s periods of physical custody.
- All provisions of prior Orders of Court not modified by this Order shall remain in full force and effect.
Pamela A. Ruest, Judge
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