I’m not exactly sure how many supervised visits I had, but I think they went on for about a month or two; it took a month after the psychiatric evaluation to get the results on March 22. Rita canceled two of these visits because the kids were supposedly sick; they were actually in Michigan with her. I suspect there may have been some truth to someone being sick, but I believe Rita was ill on at least one occasion and not feeling up to driving back to State College. She had the kids lie to me about this.
At one rescheduled visitation Amanda came into the room and was having a mental breakdown, crying and shaking. I held her in my lap for 15 minutes to get her to calm down. I have never spoken to her about this, but I suspect the issue was that Rita had told them not to say anything about being in Michigan. Amanda was worried about Amelia “messing up” and saying something “wrong.” Amanda probably thought this would likely get her mother in trouble, and she was scared to death of being away from Rita. The other possible reason for this came up years later when Amanda mentioned Debbie had brought them to State College one time for a visit. I sure hope this isn’t the case because that would likely mean Amanda had been freaking out for the entire trip. However, it would explain why she didn’t want to tell me what was wrong. I’m not sure why Rita couldn’t make the trip; maybe she was sick or just tired of driving.
I knew they’d been in Michigan from credit card purchases Rita had made there and a charge to our health insurance for an out-of-area walk-in clinic visit. I debated whether I should tell Amanda this or if it would just make the situation worse. Fortunately, she calmed down before I decided telling her was the best solution. I felt so bad for her. I know she’s an extreme, “professional” worrier like me, and I think she was probably thinking about all the bad things that could happen to her mother if I knew she had lied about why she canceled the visits.
I was highly disappointed with the CAC, who seemed to not care in the least that Rita had lied to cancel appointments. I recall having a couple of discussions with the director, who would call me to say Rita had canceled the visits. She was always hesitant to give me a reason, and when she would finally say Rita told her the kids were sick, she never had a response to me saying, “All three of them?” When I told them I had proof they’d been in Michigan for these canceled visits, she refused to say anything to the court. When I raised the issue directly with the court at hearings, Judge Ruest just dismissed it. Judges always interpreted any suggestion that Rita was not doing a great job parenting as me being bitter and vengeful.
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