The hearing was a pretty contentious one, with Tonia trying to make me look terrible and Rose trying to counter all the accusations. I lost all respect for Rita’s sister and mother and her nephew, James, at this hearing. They did their very best to make it seem like I had no interest in my kids or interacting with them, and I was incapable of caring for them. Rose finally pointed out that this was all undermined because Rita was proposing that I have custody for two weeks at a time.
I will include parts of the transcript; it is incredibly long. The first witness was one of Caleb’s support teachers. One interesting exchange between her and Tonia was:
Q. I just have one more question. Would you say that mother has been cooperative and open to your suggestions throughout these last three years?
A. Yes and — yes, they’re lovely people, but I feel that the homework issue, I hate to say it, I think that I often suggested that they needed — whether it was dad or mom, needed to check the homework, make sure it was done.
Q. Okay.
A. And I feel that was not always done with what — it wasn’t always done. I have to be very honest about that.
Q. I appreciate your honesty. That’s what we want to hear. Let me ask you this, you pointed out in your IEP about basically Caleb reporting that he’s not — he’s telling his parents that he’s done his homework when indeed he hasn’t.
A. Right.
Q. Do you remember writing that?
A. Yes, I do.
Q. Can you just expound on that a little bit.
A. Well, first of all, even though we — we have assignment books here, and part of any student at the middle school’s — excuse me, it’s teaching them how to keep themselves organized and how to use an assignment book. I’m guessing that he wasn’t taking it home or parents weren’t checking it, and then he’d say, I don’t have any homework. We went to a method where he was emailing home, and then he would say, I’ve done my homework. I mean, he does the same thing to me as a professional. He’s like, well, I left my homework at home, and then my response is a little different, well, then you’re doing it again because it has to be here, done today. Instead of maybe the parents were like, okay, you’ve done your work.
Q. Okay.
A. I understand in many situations, and that goes back to the earlier thing about how he’s passively avoiding some things by saying I’ve lost it, I’ve already done it.
Q. And you are speculating as to what their response is, correct? You indeed don’t know how they responded to him?
A. Yeah. No, I just know that the work didn’t come in.
MS. TORQUATO: I have nothing further.
The support teacher precisely describes why it was important for Rita to be at the IEP meetings. I would get home from work a few hours after Caleb had gotten home from school, and Rita would say that he either didn’t have homework or had already done it. I would then go to these meetings to find out he submitted less than 50% of his assignments. Caleb was very good at manipulating his mother.
Rita would constantly try to punish Caleb by taking his gaming console away. This punishment was often supposed to be for multiple days. In the end, I don’t think he ever lost it for more than several hours. He knew that she would change her mind if he were a big enough nuisance, so he had something to do and not be bothering her. When I punished him in this way, I would hide the controllers, and he would have a significant fit because he knew he wasn’t getting them back and could not stealthily play games while I wasn’t watching him.
Rose made it pretty clear in her cross-examination that Rita had not participated in Caleb’s IEP.
Q. This is Rose Kauffman. I am representing Eric Mockensturm. I know when I look at this IEP that was provided to us you indicate that the name and address of the parent or guardian is Rita Hanson?
A. Oh, yes. That is my fault. The mother had told me that she was changing her name, and I didn’t realize it hadn’t happened.
Q. You did not invite the father to this last IEP, did you?
A. I don’t remember if I did or didn’t. I may have done it through the mom thinking it was going to get to him.
Q. So he was not at this last IEP?
A. No, he was not. You are absolutely correct.
Q. And when was the IEP before that; do you recall?
A. Probably about a year ahead of time. I could look that up, but I don’t have it readily available.
Q. Do you know which parent or parents were at
A. That was Eric.
Q. And when was the IEP before that?
A. That was in sixth grade, but I was not the — probably a year. They’re due every year. I was not the case manager so I really can’t speak to that IEP. I was just invited to that IEP.
Q. Do you recall which parent was there?
A. That was Eric.
Q. So in fact as long as you’ve been handling Caleb, this is the first time that Rita has been there; is that correct?
A. No. She came to a back to school night in seventh grade.
Q. But in terms of the IEPs?
A. Yes, yes.
Q. So typically you would be dealing with Eric?
A. Two out of three times, yes.
I guess Rita went to a back-to-school night when he was in seventh grade, and the only reason I was not at the last IEP was that Rita did not inform me about it. What I wish I had had at the hearing were all the previous IEP meeting notes. They would have shown that Rita never attended, and they were more frequent when he was in elementary school.
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