Tonia then called Rita’s sister, Debbie, as a witness, and during direct examination, she asked about her house and how they would reconfigure it for four more people to live there. She said that Rita and the kids had stayed at her home multiple times when they visited. However, I doubt this was true as I always went with them before 2013, and we always stayed with Rita’s parents. One telling exchange was:
Q. Now, have you opened your home up to your sister and her children if the Court were to permit her to relocate?
A. Yes.
Q. And why have you done that?
A. Because I feel the kids would do better with us there.
Q. Do you have a close relationship with your sister and her children?
A. Yes, I do.
Q. How would you describe your relationship with them?
A. They are — the kids are like my own. I try to spend as much time as possible with them whenever I can.
I think this was really at the heart of why Rita’s sister and mother were pushing her to move so strongly, well before she’d reacquainted herself with Mike. Debbie‘s children passing away left an enormous void in her and her mother’s lives. Rita’s two brothers’ kids didn’t have much to do with Rita’s sister or mother daily. Two of them lived in Texas, and the others just weren’t around much.
Debbie also spoke a lot about Amanda’s health issues and how she and her mother would come to stay while Amanda was in the hospital 90 miles away. However, the sequence of questions Tonia asked was interesting and portrayed something much different than reality. She first asked how long Debbie and her mother would stay, and Debbie said, “I usually stay three or four weeks.” My recollection says this is an exaggeration, but not a huge one. However, Tonia then asked how many surgeries Amanda had had. Debbie said, “She has had twelve,” which leaves the judge to infer that Debbie had spent three or four weeks in Pennsylvania on twelve different occasions and was certainly not the case. I suspect Debbie came about three, maybe four, times. Many of the twelve surgeries were minor or performed during the same hospital stay.
Another exchange was very telling of what happened during Amanda’s surgeries.
Q. When Amanda had to have these surgeries, who was typically at the hospital with her?
A. Rita; Rita was there the entire time. She never left.
Q. When she had these surgeries, how often — not often, how long did she have to remain in the hospital?
A. She was in the hospital this last time two-and-half weeks.
While this might sound noble, and it was great that Rita could always be there for Amanda, two other kids were home. I obviously couldn’t take two or three weeks off work to take care of Caleb and Amelia, who were relatively young during many of Amanda’s surgeries. It was undoubtedly hard having the hospital so far away, and it was great that Debbie could come so Rita could stay with Amanda. I will admit that it would have been nice to live in a major medical center and have more relatives nearby. My mother helped a great deal after Amanda was born but unfortunately had advanced cancer at that point and wouldn’t live long. It is also interesting to note that Rita’s father, who was retired, is never mentioned at this hearing. I only recall him coming to Pennsylvania a couple of times. I liked him, and he always did things with the kids in Michigan, but his absence at this hearing was odd.
Finally, Debbie starts testifying about how I was a terrible father.
Q. Based upon your personal observations, how would you describe the children’s interactions with their mom?
A. They rely completely on their mom to the point I think they need to be a little more independent of their mom, but — yeah.
Q. When you were staying in the home and when you stayed in the home, how would you describe the interactions between dad and the kids?
A. Very minimal.
Q. Why?
A. He would be on the couch, on the computer, would not take care of any other needs. One time I was there and it was time to get Caleb to school and Amelia woke up needing a feeding, I asked him, do you want to take Caleb to school, or would you feed Amelia. He said he would feed Amelia. I got back from the school, he had awoken my mom to feed Amelia.
I would probably agree that when Debbie and her mother were there, I probably did less with the kids than usual because I wanted them to spend time with their aunt and grandmother. I have no recollection of waking Rita’s mom to feed Amelia, and I really can’t believe I would have done that unless there was something essential I needed to do. I had no problem feeding Amelia or any of the other kids. It was something I enjoyed. I suspect Rita’s mom simply woke up on her own and said she’d feed Amelia. I honestly can’t imagine going into where she was sleeping to wake her.
Debbie also testified that she had to stop working to help take care of her mother and father, and she could not continue to come for extended periods to help with Amanda. Rose saw the inconsistency here.
Q. So you indicate that you needed to stop working because your parents need your help, but in fact it looks to me, if your timeframe is right, that you left the day after you stopped working and you’ve been here since; is that correct?
A. Well, that’s part of the reason.
Q. But is that — I’m asking you, is that correct that you left essentially the day after you stopped working —
A. Yes.
Q. — to come here? Your parents have been — you’ve been here two-and-a-half — almost two-and-a-half months?
A. Right.
Tonia then called Rita’s mother, Joan, to testify. After talking about her and her husband’s medical issues, she got into bashing me as a father.
Q. And did you have the opportunity to observe Mr. Mockensturm’s interactions with the children?
A. Yes.
Q. How would you describe that? Was he involved, not involved?
A. No, not really. Once in a while he would notice if they’re doing something funny and stuff like that.
Q. What would you typically observe him doing when you were visiting?
A. Mainly playing on the computer, using the computer.
Q. Have you ever observed Mr. Mockensturm assisting with Amanda’s medical care?
A. No.
Q. Have you ever observed your daughter telling him he couldn’t help with the medical care?
A. No.
Q. How would you describe Mr. Mockensturm’s relationship with the children based upon your personal observations?
A. Oh, I’m sure he probably loves them, but he doesn’t care to interact with them. I mean, he doesn’t go out and play games and stuff like that, that I know of, put it that way, except for a few times.
Q. What about just the day to day getting dinner, getting lunch, that kind of stuff?
A. I’ve never seen him fix dinner or lunch or anything like that.
Q. What about helping to bathe the kids, anything like that?
A. No, not that I’ve seen.
It is simply not true that she had never seen me assist with Amanda’s medical care. When we first learned to care for Amanda or needed specific things done after surgery, I helped a lot. However, Rita took over that job, and most of the time, she didn’t need help. However, Rita essentially took over that job, and most of the time, she didn’t need help. Later on, when things got more routine, I would only help if Rita asked, primarily when there was a problem. Plus, Amanda was getting older and did not want me (or any other man) dealing with her bowel issues.
Next page…