{"id":359,"date":"2021-02-25T03:45:49","date_gmt":"2021-02-25T03:45:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/96.66.168.57:8080\/wordpress\/?page_id=359"},"modified":"2021-11-01T21:26:13","modified_gmt":"2021-11-01T21:26:13","slug":"chapter-11-1-first-relocation-attempt","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/?page_id=359","title":{"rendered":"Chapter AL:  First Relocation Attempt, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n<p>The day Rita filed the PFA petition, she filed a petition to relocate the kids to Michigan.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This initial battle would drag out for quite some time as Rita switched attorneys and the courts seemed in no rush to get anything scheduled.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\r\n<style type=\"text\/css\">\n#foogallery-gallery-2461 .fg-image { width: 320px; }<\/style>\n\t\t\t<div class=\"foogallery foogallery-container foogallery-image-viewer foogallery-link-image foogallery-lightbox-foobox fg-center fg-image-viewer fg-ready fg-dark fg-border-thin fg-shadow-outline fg-loading-default fg-loaded-fade-in fg-caption-hover fg-hover-fade fg-hover-zoom\" id=\"foogallery-gallery-2461\" data-foogallery=\"{&quot;item&quot;:{&quot;showCaptionTitle&quot;:true,&quot;showCaptionDescription&quot;:true},&quot;lazy&quot;:true,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;src&quot;,&quot;srcset&quot;:&quot;srcset&quot;,&quot;template&quot;:{&quot;loop&quot;:true,&quot;autoplay&quot;:0}}\" style=\"--fg-title-line-clamp: 0; --fg-description-line-clamp: 0;\" >\n\t<div class=\"fiv-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"fiv-inner-container\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Notice_Proposed_Relocation_20130103-2.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2462\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Notice_Proposed_Relocation_20130103-2\/3967581126.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Notice_Proposed_Relocation_20130103-3.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2463\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Notice_Proposed_Relocation_20130103-3\/4038051060.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Notice_Proposed_Relocation_20130103-4.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2464\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Notice_Proposed_Relocation_20130103-4\/2794846570.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"fiv-ctrls\">\n\t\t\t<button type=\"button\" class=\"fiv-prev\" title=\"Prev\"><span>Prev<\/span><\/button>\n\t\t\t<label class=\"fiv-count\"><span class=\"fiv-count-current\">1<\/span>of<span class=\"fiv-count-total\">3<\/span><\/label>\n\t\t\t<button type=\"button\" class=\"fiv-next\" title=\"Next\"><span>Next<\/span><\/button>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\r\n<p>The filing, contained in the image gallery, includes some information worth discussing.\u00a0 Rita proposes that she and the kids move to her sister Debbie&#8217;s house, near her parent&#8217;s house and in the Dundee school district.\u00a0 She notes that there will be three adults and three children living in the house but does not mention that it&#8217;s a double-wide modular home that certainly does not have space for everyone.\u00a0 I will discuss the ridiculous idea that three adults and three children could live in this house later.<\/p>\r\n<p>The proposed moving date is March 4, 2013, and I have no idea of the significance of this date. We didn&#8217;t even have a hearing concerning this proposal until June.<\/p>\r\n<p>Rita provides three reasons for proposing to relocate. The first is that nearly all our extended family lives within a 50-mile radius of Debbie&#8217;s house. The second reason Rita provides is that without me being there to help with Amanda&#8217;s medical care, she wants to be closer to her family for support.\u00a0 Finally, Rita mentions that she will not be paying Debbie any rent and cannot afford to live separate from me.\u00a0 Her explanation for this is that instead of pursuing &#8220;lucrative employment&#8221; during our marriage, she focused on raising the<\/p>\r\n<p>This last reason annoys me since she acts like she could obtain lucrative employment without the kids.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rita had been out of high school for <i>eight<\/i> years, and we&#8217;d been married for six before Caleb was born.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>During this time, Rita did <i>nothing<\/i> to try to improve her career opportunities. She worked at McDonald&#8217;s, Kmart, a children&#8217;s shoe store, and university family housing.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She had plenty of opportunities to take classes and at least try to get an associate&#8217;s degree, and she didn&#8217;t take them. Rita was not working long hours or to support my graduate education as I had financial support through scholarships, fellowships, and assistantships throughout my studies.\u00a0 These all came with stipends that financed all of my living expenses.\u00a0 Combined with some great returns on investments I made while I had time to study the market, she didn&#8217;t have to work at all.<\/p>\r\n<p>Saying she could not afford to live on her own was one of Rita&#8217;s many attempts to predict a horrible future unless the court allowed her to move. I was paying her over $2,600 per month in spousal and child support, and she was able to find good places to live when the judge eventually denied this petition and moved out of the McBath Street house.\u00a0 I believe she was paying roughly $1500 in rent for a townhouse about a mile from McBath Street.<\/p>\r\n<p>Regarding custody, she writes the following.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>I propose the custody schedule be the following if I am permitted to relocate:<\/p>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Mother and father have shared legal custody of the minor children.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Mother is granting primary physical custody of the minor child, subject to father\u2019s partial custody rights, as follows:<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Father shall be granted Thanksgiving Break with the minor child, from the Wednesday before Thanksgiving until the Monday following Thanksgiving.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li>Father shall be granted Christmas Break with the minor children, from noon the day after the children are dismissed from school for Christmas Break, until the day prior to their resumption of school after Christmas Break.<\/li>\r\n<li>Father shall be entitled to have custody of the children during their spring break from school, if any, with specific dates and times to be agreed upon by the parties.<\/li>\r\n<li>Father shall be entitled to time with the minor children if father chooses to travel to Michigan for the purpose of visiting the minor children, with specific dates and times to be agreed upon by the parties.<\/li>\r\n<li>Father and Mother shall share physical custody of the children during their summer break from school on a two weeks on, two weeks off schedule.<\/li>\r\n<li>Father shall permit mother access to the minor child Amanda Mockensturm during father\u2019s extended visits with the children, for purposes of Amanda\u2019s medical care.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\" style=\"font-size: inherit;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>The custody time she offered is unusual, but I genuinely wonder if she had any plans to abide by this if she was allowed to move.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 W<\/span>hen she finally moved, the first thing she did was file a petition to cancel all of my visitations.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>There are many details left out, such as where was my visitation supposed to occur?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The petition suggests but does not explicitly state that I would have them in Pennsylvania during these periods, but where would Rita stay?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> She&#8217;d<\/span> have to be nearby to take care of Amanda.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Was Rita going to give up all Thanksgivings and Christmases with her family to be in Pennsylvania?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>If she was planning to be in Pennsylvania, again, where was she planning to stay?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rita obviously could not stay with me as the PFA order made that impossible.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I can&#8217;t imagine she was planning to stay in a hotel for all this time.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>If so, who was going to pay for it?<\/p>\r\n<p>Likewise, what was the plan going to be for the summer?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I would have assumed my two-week stretches of custodial time would be in Pennsylvania.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 If so, a<\/span>gain, I just can&#8217;t see how this would possibly work.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Did Rita have a plan for where she was going to stay?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Or was she betting on the vagueness of the order to turn around then and say it meant all my custodial time was to be in Michigan?\u00a0 I quickly learned that the courts would interpret anything imprecise in the order in Rita&#8217;s favor.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n<p>Laura, representing Rita at the time, surely knew and would have told her that we&#8217;d likely renegotiate this entire arrangement after she moved. Thus, I don&#8217;t think Rita ever planned on following this proposal.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> I&#8217;m sure she planned<\/span> to move to Michigan and then claim it was too burdensome\/expensive to bring the kids back to Pennsylvania.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rita would then petition&#8211;as she later did&#8211;to have the custody case moved to Michigan.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Once there, Rita could start over with her offer since she now had what she wanted and did not have to pretend to be courteous.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>What was the court going to do if she didn&#8217;t follow the order?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Make her move back to Pennsylvania?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Would the Pennsylvania courts even have jurisdiction to enforce the order?<\/p>\r\n<p>It is also fascinating to note how much time she was proposing to give me when she and her family later claimed I couldn&#8217;t take care of them at the hearing.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Fortunately, my attorney pointed out this ridiculous inconsistency, and it caught Rita off guard.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I don&#8217;t think Rita had even considered that what she was telling the judge was that I couldn&#8217;t be trusted with <i>her<\/i> children when she was indirectly claiming I could.<\/p>\r\n<p>On February 5, 2013, after a custody conference&#8211;an off-the-record meeting between the attorneys and judge in the judge&#8217;s chambers&#8211;four days prior, Judge Ruest scheduled a pre-hearing conference for April 25, 2013, and a day-long hearing for May 14, 2013.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> I&#8217;m unclear why, but this schedule was adjusted o<\/span>n April 8, 2013, pushing the conference back to May 28, 2013, and the hearing to June 11, 2013.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<p><!--nextpage--><\/p>\r\n<p>Before the hearing, Judge Ruest requested that we each submit witness lists and exhibits. Having these meant that there would be fewer surprises and allowed my attorney to prepare better Rita&#8217;s arguments. My witnesses included my father, the psychologist who did the psychiatric evaluation, and my psychiatrist.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>My exhibits included a proposed parenting plan, the psychological assessment, and the photographs of my forehead and wrist showing no injury or scars. The complete filing, minus documents already presented, is shown in the image gallery.<\/p>\r\n<style type=\"text\/css\">\n#foogallery-gallery-2475 .fg-image { width: 320px; }<\/style>\n\t\t\t<div class=\"foogallery foogallery-container foogallery-image-viewer foogallery-link-image foogallery-lightbox-foobox fg-center fg-image-viewer fg-ready fg-dark fg-border-thin fg-shadow-outline fg-loading-default fg-loaded-fade-in fg-caption-hover fg-hover-fade fg-hover-zoom\" id=\"foogallery-gallery-2475\" data-foogallery=\"{&quot;item&quot;:{&quot;showCaptionTitle&quot;:true,&quot;showCaptionDescription&quot;:true},&quot;lazy&quot;:true,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;src&quot;,&quot;srcset&quot;:&quot;srcset&quot;,&quot;template&quot;:{&quot;loop&quot;:true,&quot;autoplay&quot;:0}}\" style=\"--fg-title-line-clamp: 0; --fg-description-line-clamp: 0;\" >\n\t<div class=\"fiv-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"fiv-inner-container\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-02.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2476\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-02\/888580407.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-03.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2477\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-03\/230171948.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-05.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2479\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-05\/1493135450.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-06.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2480\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-06\/3061514213.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-07.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2481\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-07\/2402579454.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-08.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2482\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-08\/2471031452.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-09.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2483\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-09\/2852552327.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-10.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2484\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130528-10\/102685879.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"fiv-ctrls\">\n\t\t\t<button type=\"button\" class=\"fiv-prev\" title=\"Prev\"><span>Prev<\/span><\/button>\n\t\t\t<label class=\"fiv-count\"><span class=\"fiv-count-current\">1<\/span>of<span class=\"fiv-count-total\">8<\/span><\/label>\n\t\t\t<button type=\"button\" class=\"fiv-next\" title=\"Next\"><span>Next<\/span><\/button>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\r\n<p>The proposed parenting plan was pretty standard, I think.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It said that Rita and I should make all decisions jointly, that holidays would alternate from year to year, and I would have the kids at the following times:<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Sunday:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Alternating until 7:00 p.m.<br \/>Monday:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>4:00 p.m. until 7:00 p.m.<br \/>Wednesday:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>4:00 p.m. until 7:00 p.m.<br \/>Friday:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>4:00 p.m. until 7:00 p.m.; Overnight on alternating weekends<br \/>Saturday:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>All day and overnight on alternating weekends<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>Overnights would start after I was able to find a more spacious place to live.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Before Rita got the PFA order, the agreement&#8211;but not a court order&#8211;was the same as this but with my weekends at the McBath Street house. With the PFA, this agreement was no longer possible, so I proposed having my weekend custodial time at my father&#8217;s house&#8211;about 90 miles away&#8211;until I could find a more spacious place.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<p><!--nextpage-->The pre-hearing documents that Rita&#8217;s attorney filed were fascinating and numerous, amounting to 116 pages.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 The image gallery contains the lists of exhibits, witnesses, and family members in the area.\u00a0 I have only included these four pages because the photographs in the copy I have are barely discernible black-and-wide versions that appear to have been copied and scanned many times. The remaining pages contain personal or immaterial information.\u00a0 <\/span>Twenty-two pages were photocopies from a picture book of the kids in Michigan and with their cousins.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 The cousins included in the pictures are the ones that had recently moved to Texas.\u00a0 Thus, the images are somewhat deceiving because my kids would certainly not be spending much time with these cousins if they moved to Michigan.\u00a0 <\/span>There were 20 pictures of her sister&#8217;s house, where they were planning to move, and two shots of Rita&#8217;s parent&#8217;s house.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<style type=\"text\/css\">\n#foogallery-gallery-2485 .fg-image { width: 320px; }<\/style>\n\t\t\t<div class=\"foogallery foogallery-container foogallery-image-viewer foogallery-link-image foogallery-lightbox-foobox fg-center fg-image-viewer fg-ready fg-dark fg-border-thin fg-shadow-outline fg-loading-default fg-loaded-fade-in fg-caption-hover fg-hover-fade fg-hover-zoom\" id=\"foogallery-gallery-2485\" data-foogallery=\"{&quot;item&quot;:{&quot;showCaptionTitle&quot;:true,&quot;showCaptionDescription&quot;:true},&quot;lazy&quot;:true,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;src&quot;,&quot;srcset&quot;:&quot;srcset&quot;,&quot;template&quot;:{&quot;loop&quot;:true,&quot;autoplay&quot;:0}}\" style=\"--fg-title-line-clamp: 0; --fg-description-line-clamp: 0;\" >\n\t<div class=\"fiv-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"fiv-inner-container\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130524-003.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2486\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130524-003\/2744868920.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130524-004.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2487\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130524-004\/880409090.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130524-055.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2488\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130524-055\/3846882854.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-loading\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130524-056.png\" data-attachment-id=\"2489\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img src=\"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2021\/10\/Relocation_Exhibits_20130524-056\/4142027494.png\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"fiv-ctrls\">\n\t\t\t<button type=\"button\" class=\"fiv-prev\" title=\"Prev\"><span>Prev<\/span><\/button>\n\t\t\t<label class=\"fiv-count\"><span class=\"fiv-count-current\">1<\/span>of<span class=\"fiv-count-total\">4<\/span><\/label>\n\t\t\t<button type=\"button\" class=\"fiv-next\" title=\"Next\"><span>Next<\/span><\/button>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\r\n<p><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">Rita had staged the photographs of Debbie&#8217;s house to make it appear much more spacious. The images appear to show two bedrooms for the kids and one for Rita. I&#8217;m sure the house did not have four bedrooms&#8211;if I recall correctly, it has three&#8211;so I&#8217;m not sure what got converted into an extra bedroom.\u00a0 However, from the images, it appears to be a converted closet. The pictures only show one bathroom, but I believe there was a second one, although I&#8217;m unsure if it was full or half-sized. <\/span><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span><\/p>\r\n<p>While I recall Debbie&#8217;s house being lovely for a modular home, I cannot imagine six people living there.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> I&#8217;m<\/span> not sure why she didn&#8217;t propose moving in with her parents as they had more space.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\r\n<p>Rita included a list, provided below, of relatives in Michigan and Ohio, including people I&#8217;m sure she hadn&#8217;t seen in years, and I&#8217;m sure she hasn&#8217;t seen since moving.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The list includes <i>her <\/i>second cousins, third cousins<i>,<\/i> great aunts, and some people I don&#8217;t recall ever hearing about, even though her family had frequent reunions.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She included a lot of my family that she at least thought lived in Toledo.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p><b>Relatives in Michigan and Ohio<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p>Rita\u2019s Family<\/p>\r\n<p>Parents: Milton and Joan Hanson, Maybee, MI<\/p>\r\n<p>Sister: Debra Benson and husband Russell Benson, Maybee, MI Brother: Mark Hanson and wife Irene Lynn Hanson, Chelsea, MI<\/p>\r\n<p>Nephews and Niece:<br \/>James Hanson, Milan, MI<br \/>Logan Hanson and wife Becca and son Bentley, Ypsilanti, MI<br \/>Doug Demory and wife Casey, children Nora and Blake, Milan, MI<br \/>Samantha Stoddard and husband Mike, children Conner, Hunter, Jacob, and Ryder, Canton, MI<\/p>\r\n<p>Aunts and Uncles:<br \/>Karen Jahnke and husband Wayne, Ypsilanti, MI<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Virgil Hanson and wife Betty, Union City, MI<br \/>Michael Hanson and wife Deanna, Sherwood, MI<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Jennie Hanson, Athens, MI<br \/>Alan Hanson and wife Polly, Union City, MI<\/p>\r\n<p>First and Second Cousins:<br \/>Paula Robinette and husband Gregory, children Shelby, Noah and Gregory, Ypsilanti, MI<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Tammy Stuck, child Clyde Jr., Battle Creek, MI<br \/>Shelly Hanson, Battle Creek, MI<br \/>Gary Hanson and child Jason, Battle Creek, MI<br \/>Eric Hanson, Battle Creek, MI<br \/>Jeff Hanson, Union City, MI<br \/>Ken Hanson, Union City, MI<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Nolan Hanson, Sherwood, MI<br \/>Alana Mancuso and husband Todd, children Anson and Wyatt, Battle Creek, MI<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Julie Krietzer and husband Tom, child Kyle, Tecumseh, MI<br \/>Jenny Avery and husband Walter and child Lori, Battle Creek, MI<br \/>Susie Sencret and husband Steven and children Christy, Holly, Rockwood, MI<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Mike Hanson, children Michelle and Mike Jr., Union City, MI<br \/>Teresa Green, husband and children Misty, Holly, Rusty, Cody, Ypsilanti, MI<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Billy Schooler and wife Diane and children NaAuturm, Nathan, Nathaniel, Ypsilanti, MI<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Pam Schooler, Ypsilanti, MI<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Joann Zemke and husband Jim David Perry, Gregory, MI<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Connie Jerrell and husband Jim Robin Schooler<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Carol Schooler<br \/>Ronda Schooler<br \/>Thomas Meyers<\/p>\r\n<p>Third Cousins and Great Aunts:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Lena Schooler<br \/>Tayna Parchell<br \/>Michelle Schooler<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Sheron Schooler<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Steve Mains<\/p>\r\n<p>Brother Paul Hanson lives in Dallas, visits MI several times a year with wife Trisha and children Abby and Jarrett<\/p>\r\n<p>Eric\u2019s Family<\/p>\r\n<p>Aunts and Uncles:<br \/>Alan King and wife Rosie, Dundee, MI<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Donald Mockensturm and wife Charlene, Clinton, OH<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"><br \/><\/span>Robert Mockensturm and wife Cathy, Toledo, OH<\/p>\r\n<p>Cousins:<br \/>Amy Salenbien and husband Matt, children Lauren and Bethany, Britton, MI<br \/>Julie Grewe and husband Scott, children Julia, Nathan and Katie.<br \/>Arron King, Monroe, MI<br \/>Kristina Elsayed and husband Khaled, children, Toledo, OH<br \/>Brad Mockensturm and wife, Toledo, OH<br \/>Chad Mockensturm and wife Juanita, Toledo, OH<br \/>Brian Mockensturm, Toledo, OH<br \/>Russell Mockensturm, Toledo, OH<br \/>Scott Mockensturm, Toledo, OH<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>Her witness list included herself, her sister, and her nephew, James, who had lived with us for many years.\u00a0 It also included two teachers that had worked with Caleb&#8211;JoAnne Westerhaus and Marie Hayes&#8211;a McBath-street neighbor, Heather Fornicola, and a &#8220;Representative from Dundee Community School District.&#8221; The last three people listed did not testify.\u00a0 Heather later told me that she told Rita she wasn&#8217;t getting in the middle of things because she didn&#8217;t know my side of it.\u00a0 I&#8217;m not sure why Mrs. Hayes didn&#8217;t testify, but Rita always had terrible things to say about her and insisted we send Amanda to a private school for the fourth grade so Mrs. Hayes would not be her teacher.<\/p>\r\n<p>Rita included Caleb&#8217;s individualized education plan (IEP) and notes from the meeting on January 4, 2013.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Caleb was in 8th grade, and this was the <i>first<\/i> IEP meeting that Rita had attended.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 Since Caleb was in kindergarten, t<\/span>hese meetings would occur once or twice a year to see how things were going and adjust the plan.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rita <i>always<\/i> refused to go even though I asked her many times to do so.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Her excuse was that she couldn&#8217;t handle the teachers calling Caleb dumb, which they certainly never did.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She basically couldn&#8217;t overcome her personal feelings about her schooling to help Caleb. <span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">It was ridiculous having these meetings without her; the meeting frequently put me in a situation where I did not know everything going on.<\/span><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\" style=\"font-size: inherit;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p>Rita was the one that would go through Caleb&#8217;s things when he got home from school, as I was at work.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I would frequently ask if Caleb had done his homework, and she would say he had or that he didn&#8217;t have any.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I would then go to these meetings and hear that Caleb was never turning in his homework.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It took far too long to realize that Caleb had figured out if he didn&#8217;t bring assignments home or &#8220;lost&#8221; them, then he wouldn&#8217;t have to do them.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Had Rita attended these meetings, it would have been obvious what was going on.\u00a0 Rita not participating in these meetings annoyed me greatly as I saw, and still see, it as terrible parenting.\u00a0 Rita <em>needed<\/em> to be at these meetings to help Caleb, and she refused to attend.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<p><!--nextpage-->The filing also included screenshots of reminders and calendar events showing up on a computer that the kids were using at the house.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>One was a reminder I&#8217;d made just after getting out of jail that said &#8220;Fuck with Rita,&#8221; and another was a calendar event that said, &#8220;The bitch&#8217;s mom&#8217;s b-day,&#8221; which happened to be just after I was released. I had no idea the kids would see these, as I had no idea these things were showing up on computers the kids were using. Had I known, I would have stopped making snide reminders, etc.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 What troubles me most about this is that i<\/span>nstead of saying anything to my attorney or me, Rita just let the kids continue seeing these things and then blamed me for &#8220;allowing&#8221; it to happen. This episode is just one of many that show Rita was more interested in collecting information against me than trying to be a good mother.<\/p>\r\n<p>There were some screenshots of Facebook posts I&#8217;d made.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> One<\/span> post from &#8220;Sunday&#8221; said, &#8220;[Eric] can&#8217;t believe he could have misjudged someone&#8217;s ability to be so cruel so badly.&#8221; After I got out of jail at the end of January, I posted, &#8220;[Eric] met a lot of people on both sides of the law with lots of devious ways to get back at women falsely accusing them of abuse.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Lots of information to parse.&#8221; This was true, but I regret posting it and deleted it shortly after I did.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I recall thinking while in jail&#8211;as there&#8217;s not much else to do&#8211;that I sure learned many devious things from the other inmates.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>When I&#8217;d tell them why I was there, many of them would suggest ways for me to get revenge.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 Like I said before, j<\/span>ail is a place to learn to be a criminal. I would have never done any of these things as I&#8217;m not an idiot and know I&#8217;d wind up getting caught; taking advice on being a criminal from people in jail doesn&#8217;t seem wise.<\/p>\r\n<p>Rita also included my Match.com profile in which, as a joke, I said, &#8220;three kids (two are great and one&#8217;s a PITA, you&#8217;ll figure it out)***&#8221; and below, &#8220;***I hope you realize the PITA kid is just a joke.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I just find it funny how all you ever see on here is how great people&#8217;s kids are.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We all know they can be PITA&#8217;s on occasion.&#8221;<\/p>\r\n<p>Finally, there were some text messages.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>One said, &#8220;I&#8217;m not sure I can keep them all entertained for 4 hours.&#8221; Another said, &#8220;I&#8217;ll try to figure something out to keep them all entertained.&#8221;\u00a0 I&#8217;m sure I was worried about keeping three kids spanning ten years of age and different genders entertained in a tiny studio apartment for four hours.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I had indeed thought about taking them places, but there was nowhere they all wanted to go.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It certainly would not have been a problem if, as we had planned, I had my custodial time at the McBath Street house where they had all their toys, etc.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Another message talked about having a makeup day on May 21, which is Rita&#8217;s birthday.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I reminded her that she was giving up having the kids on her birthday and, half-jokingly said, &#8220;You could give them some money, and I could take them shopping.&#8221; At the hearing, Rita stated that these scared her.<\/p>\r\n<p>In the court filing, Rita made sure only to show isolated messages and not entire conversations. The statements in context are shown below, with a solid dot preceding my messages and an open dot preceding Rita&#8217;s.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p><em>Exchange on April 30, 2013<\/em><\/p>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li style=\"list-style-type: none;\">\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Rita:\u00a0 Do you have car seat for mae?<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Eric:\u00a0 Yea. There\u2019s still one in Bug.<\/li>\r\n<li>Have Debbie give him a change of clothes for Amanda too.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Ok so just to be clear. Gary get mae and bikes around 4. kids dropped off by gary when?<\/li>\r\n<li>I will have all you need packed.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>By 8. But probably earlier.<\/li>\r\n<li>Unless they want to stay at park and have a late dinner.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Ok but no later than 8 right?<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>I\u2019m not sure I can keep them all entertained for 4 hours.<\/li>\r\n<li>Yea. No later.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Ok<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Should I try to have Amanda do HW?<\/li>\r\n<li>Or can she do it when she gets home?\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>It depends on how much but best to get it done early.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>I\u2019ll try to have her do it.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>She will be to tired to do it when she gets home if 8. Shower then bed.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Ok.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<p><i><em>Exchange<\/em> on May 1, 2013.<\/i><\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>That\u2019s what I was thinking. Or one each day M-W?<\/li>\r\n<li>This apartment is too small for all of them if the weather stinks.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Rather not do that.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>It would be better for them but its up to you.<\/li>\r\n<li>Hopefully weather is nice. Or maybe we could just rent movies.<\/li>\r\n<li>Or shopping at mall.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Well you know what amanda would want to do<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Yea. And you said Caleb needed some clothes.<\/li>\r\n<li>Summer clothes.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Yea and shoes too sandles<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>I\u2019ll try to figure something out to keep them all entertained.<\/li>\r\n<li>I\u2019ll be gone Sunday after next week too.<\/li>\r\n<li>Maybe have them for a bit this Sunday?\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Im getting confused. Send me dates? what are you looking for time wise sunday?<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>5\/5 maybe 4-7 since my dad will be in Everett.<\/li>\r\n<li>I\u2019ll be gone 5\/13.<\/li>\r\n<li>In Everett until ~3\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Lets talk one day at a time im confused. 5\/13 is monday<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Oops. Gone 5\/12.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Thats mothers day it would be nice for me to have them<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>This coming Sunday (5\/5) I could have them for a few hours after my dad returns.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Ok thats fine for this sunday<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Okay. We have some time to work out those details. I\u2019ll text Debbie tomorrow either way.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Ok. And what about the holiday weekend?<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Memorial Day?\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Yea<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>You can have them.<\/li>\r\n<li>Camping would be fun for them and not something I could do with them.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Thank you. Lets get through tomorrow then work on the rest<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Agreed.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p><i><em>Exchange<\/em> on May 20, 2013 about the kids wanting to be together during visits and Rita\u2019s birthday.<\/i><\/p>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Oh. But what about tomorrow?\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Not sure amanda got a uti<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Or maybe do something with Caleb on Wednesday and the girls on Thursday\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Rather you take all of them<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>But is there any day that will work?\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Tomorrow if amanda feeling better<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Okay. But you do remember its your b-day, right?<\/li>\r\n<li>You could give them some money and I could take them shopping. \ud83d\ude09\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>I did forget<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Otherwise I could maybe take Caleb to a movie on Wednesday. I don\u2019t understand your concern about having them one at a time so I\u2019m not sure how to make you feel comfortable with it.<\/li>\r\n<li>See, I\u2019m such a good husband to remind you of your b-day. But don\u2019t expect a present. \ud83d\ude09\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>How about tomorrow 5-7? caleb from hw club at 5:30<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>That would probably be okay. Just wasn\u2019t sure about the uti and your bday.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Yea just a busy week and sick kid through me off.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Off work?<\/li>\r\n<li>I\u2019d still rather have Caleb W and girls Th. Not sure what your concern is. Me talking to them alone?\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>They want to be together<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>They do? Why? You said it was you that wanted them together.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>I do but i asked them and they want to be together<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Well have them give me a call so we can figure out something they all want to do together.<\/li>\r\n<li>Are they going to call? I\u2019m sure Caleb is tired of hanging around the park.<\/li>\r\n<li>Plus it\u2019s supposed to rain.<\/li>\r\n<li>I could take them all T and girls on Th.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Im out mowing how about library?<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>That might work. Is there stuff for all of them. Bowling might work too.<\/li>\r\n<li>I\u2019d still like to see if Caleb might like to see Star Trek on Wednesday.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>They all like bowling<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<p><i><em>Exchange<\/em> on May 22, 2013 with Rita about my dad being present for visits.<\/i><\/p>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Are you concerned about me driving the kids? My dads truck has a flat and one of the lug bolts is stripped.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Kids feel better with your dad there<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>It doesn\u2019t seem that way. What makes them feel that way?<\/li>\r\n<li>They in bed? Have them call so I can tell them good night.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>All in bed already skating wore the girls out and caleb has to be up by 5:30.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Oh, right.<\/li>\r\n<li>So, why do they want my dad there?\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>To be honest they dont want me to tell you why.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>What is it?<\/li>\r\n<li>You need to let me know.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>I will talk to my lawyer first but i made a promise to them and i wont betray that.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>What? We always have fun.\r\n<ul>\r\n<li>Its not about that. i have to get up early<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<li>Okay. But we still need to parent them together.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I also included messages in which she told me it was the kids who wanted to all come simultaneously and my dad to be there. As I will discuss later, she never did give me a reason for this.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<p><!--nextpage-->The hearing was a pretty contentious one, with Tonia trying to make me look terrible and Rose trying to counter all the accusations.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I lost all respect for Rita&#8217;s sister and mother and her nephew, James, at this hearing.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>They did their very best to make it seem like I had no interest in my kids or interacting with them, and I was incapable of caring for them.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rose finally pointed out that this was all undermined because Rita was proposing that I have custody for two weeks at a time.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\r\n<p>I will include parts of the transcript; it is incredibly long.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The first witness was one of Caleb&#8217;s support teachers.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>One interesting exchange between her and Tonia was:<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. I just have one more question. Would you say that mother has been cooperative and open to your suggestions throughout these last three years?<br \/>A. Yes and &#8212; yes, they\u2019re lovely people, but I feel that the homework issue, I hate to say it, I think that I often suggested that they needed &#8212; whether it was dad or mom, needed to check the homework, make sure it was done.<br \/>Q. Okay.<br \/>A. And I feel that was not always done with what &#8212; it wasn\u2019t always done. I have to be very honest about that.<br \/>Q. I appreciate your honesty. That\u2019s what we want to hear. Let me ask you this, you pointed out in your IEP about basically Caleb reporting that he\u2019s not &#8212; he\u2019s telling his parents that he\u2019s done his homework when indeed he hasn\u2019t.<br \/>A. Right.<br \/>Q. Do you remember writing that?<br \/>A. Yes, I do.<br \/>Q. Can you just expound on that a little bit.<br \/>A. Well, first of all, even though we &#8212; we have assignment books here, and part of any student at the middle school\u2019s &#8212; excuse me, it\u2019s teaching them how to keep themselves organized and how to use an assignment book. I\u2019m guessing that he wasn\u2019t taking it home or parents weren\u2019t checking it, and then he\u2019d say, I don\u2019t have any homework. We went to a method where he was emailing home, and then he would say, I\u2019ve done my homework. I mean, he does the same thing to me as a professional. He\u2019s like, well, I left my homework at home, and then my response is a little different, well, then you\u2019re doing it again because it has to be here, done today. Instead of maybe the parents were like, okay, you\u2019ve done your work.<br \/>Q. Okay.<br \/>A. I understand in many situations, and that goes back to the earlier thing about how he\u2019s passively avoiding some things by saying I\u2019ve lost it, I\u2019ve already done it.<br \/>Q. And you are speculating as to what their response is, correct?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>You indeed don\u2019t know how they responded to him?<br \/>A. Yeah. No, I just know that the work didn\u2019t come in.<br \/>MS. TORQUATO: I have nothing further.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>The support teacher precisely describes why it was important for Rita to be at the IEP meetings.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I would get home from work a few hours after Caleb had gotten home from school, and Rita would say that he either didn&#8217;t have homework or had already done it.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I would then go to these meetings to find out he submitted less than 50% of his assignments.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Caleb was very good at manipulating his mother.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\r\n<p>Rita would constantly try to punish Caleb by taking his gaming console away.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This punishment was often supposed to be for multiple days.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>In the end, I don&#8217;t think he ever lost it for more than several hours.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He knew that she would change her mind if he were a big enough nuisance, so he had something to do and not be bothering her.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>When I punished him in this way, I would hide the controllers, and he would have a significant fit because he knew he wasn&#8217;t getting them back and could not stealthily play games while I wasn&#8217;t watching him.<\/p>\r\n<p>Rose made it pretty clear in her cross-examination that Rita had not participated in Caleb&#8217;s IEP.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. This is Rose Kauffman. I am representing Eric Mockensturm. I know when I look at this IEP that was provided to us you indicate that the name and address of the parent or guardian is Rita Hanson?<br \/>A. Oh, yes. That is my fault. The mother had told me that she was changing her name, and I didn\u2019t realize it hadn\u2019t happened.<br \/><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. You did not invite the father to this last IEP, did you?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. I don\u2019t remember if I did or didn\u2019t. I may have done it through the mom thinking it was going to get to him.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. So he was not at this last IEP?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. No, he was not. You are absolutely correct.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. And when was the IEP before that; do you recall?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. Probably about a year ahead of time. I could look that up, but I don\u2019t have it readily available.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Do you know which parent or parents were at<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. That was Eric.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. And when was the IEP before that?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. That was in sixth grade, but I was not the &#8212; probably a year. They\u2019re due every year. I was not the case manager so I really can\u2019t speak to that IEP. I was just invited to that IEP.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Do you recall which parent was there?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. That was Eric.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. So in fact as long as you\u2019ve been handling Caleb, this is the first time that Rita has been there; is that correct?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. No. She came to a back to school night in seventh grade.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. But in terms of the IEPs?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. Yes, yes.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. So typically you would be dealing with Eric?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. Two out of three times, yes.<\/span><\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I guess Rita went to a back-to-school night when he was in seventh grade, and the only reason I was not at the last IEP was that Rita did not inform me about it.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>What I wish I had had at the hearing were all the previous IEP meeting notes.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>They would have shown that Rita <i>never<\/i> attended, and they were more frequent when he was in elementary school.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<p><!--nextpage-->The next witness was Dr. Reedy, who testified to what she had written in the psychological report when Rose did the direct examination.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Things got pretty tense during Tonia&#8217;s cross-examination, as Tonia called about everything she did into question.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Tonia suggested that I was so brilliant that I could have manipulated her and the tests even though the tests have built-in mechanisms to check for truthfulness.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>There were, of course, questions I could see people lying about, like, &#8220;Do you fantasize about hurting other people?&#8221; Rose wound up objecting to Tonia&#8217;s questions five separate times.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 Judge Ruest sustained a<\/span>ll but the objection about what percentage of Dr. Reedy&#8217;s patients were adults.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>A typical exchange was:<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Would you be surprised to know that Mr. Mockensturm was hospitalized less than a week after your evaluation of him?<br \/>A. No.<br \/>Q. Well, Ms. Reedy, you had testified that you had confidence in Mr. Mockensturm\u2019s ability to engage in self talk to help him deal with his stressors, correct?<br \/>A. Yes.<br \/>Q. So would you agree that his ability to engage in self talk wasn\u2019t successful?<br \/>A. I wouldn\u2019t say it wasn\u2019t successful. If he went and was hospitalized, that doesn\u2019t surprise me because he did have the capability, the coping skills to know when he needs help. If somebody did not have that, those coping skills, would continue on their own and would not go for help.<br \/>Q. Well, Ms. Reedy, you\u2019re presuming that Mr. Mockensturm took it upon himself to go to the hospital when indeed you don\u2019t know if that\u2019s accurate or not, correct?<br \/>A. I had understood you to say he did, but no, I don\u2019t.<br \/>Q. I guess what I\u2019m saying to you is you don\u2019t know how he got there, correct?<br \/>A. At the moment, I don\u2019t, no. If that\u2019s not what you were telling me, if you were not telling me that he took himself to the hospital, then no, I don\u2019t know how he got there.<br \/>Q. Now in your report, you specifically indicate that Mr. Mockensturm is extremely &#8212; in fact your evaluation shows he\u2019s of superior intelligence, correct?<br \/>A. Yes, yes.<br \/>Q. So it\u2019s conceivable that Mr. Mockensturm would have the intelligence to, for lack of a better word, trick the results of this testing, correct?<br \/>A. It is possible.<br \/>Q. Okay.<br \/>A. These tests are very hard to trick.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>First, I voluntarily went to the hospital as I had just discovered the emails and videos between Rita and Mike on my computer indicating that she&#8217;d had an affair.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It wasn&#8217;t really that I was particularly upset about the affair, although I was, of course, hurt; it was that Rita, for years, had been accusing me of having affairs when I was not.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And then she has an affair and starts making false allegations and harassing me to let her move to be with this man.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I was not admitted to the hospital, although Tonia certainly makes it sound like I was.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Another typical exchange was:<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Okay. So you\u2019re taking Mr. Mockensturm\u2019s word that his medication is well controlled, correct?<br \/>A. I &#8212; yes, that part of the report is what he told me.<br \/>Q. Right. So you don\u2019t know in fact whether he is taking his medication or not, right?<br \/>A. I would not have been in his house to watch it, no. Every indication by his demeanor appeared that he was taking it, because he exhibited no behaviors that would suggest he wasn\u2019t taking it.<br \/>Q. Well, Dr. Reedy, you would agree that you could have called Dr. John De Carle to verify that, correct, and you didn\u2019t?<br \/>A. I could have, but again, that was not within the purview of this evaluation. The only thing I was asked to determine was was he a danger to his children.<br \/>Q. And you don\u2019t believe it\u2019s good practice to verify the information that a client comes in and relays to you when you know there\u2019s a Protection From Abuse in place and you know there\u2019s a history of admitted depression and suicidal ideations?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>You don\u2019t believe it\u2019s good practice to verify what this individual is telling you?<br \/>A. I believe it\u2019s good practice if somebody else &#8212; if the evaluation is for a specific reason, specific reason such as transferring the care, yes, I believe it\u2019s good practice to get that information. If there is something that is being said that would contribute &#8212; let\u2019s say for example he came in and said, well, the doctor thinks that my behavior was because such and such happened. I would follow through with that, but if somebody comes in and tells me, I have a history of depression, and I\u2019ve had thoughts of suicide, and I\u2019m taking medication, that\u2019s a standard &#8212; first of all, the medication is standard for what he\u2019s taking, for what he is experiencing, and he\u2019s coming in and admitting that. So I\u2019m starting from that point that he\u2019s admitting that. I\u2019m not going to call the doctor and say, is he lying about having depression and anxiety.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>Things got pretty tense during this exchange, and it would be an argument Tonia would resort to many times in the future, i.e., &#8220;Are you sure he&#8217;s taking his medication?&#8221; <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">Interestingly, she berates Dr. Reedy for not calling Dr. deCarle but later forces him to admit he could not be sure I was taking my medication.\u00a0 <\/span>Of course, doctors can&#8217;t be certain patients are taking their prescription as they don&#8217;t watch the patients do it every day.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>For whatever reason, Judge Ruest seemed to buy the argument that I was not taking my medication, and Rita would later suggest that was the case.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\r\n<p>The thing is, it <i>sucks<\/i> to be depressed, and if the medicine is going to help prevent that, I am certainly going to take it.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>You hear many people with severe psychiatric problems saying they stopped taking their medications because they made them feel &#8220;numb&#8221; or &#8220;not themselves.&#8221; And some people have adverse side effects from certain anti-depressants.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However, I was not taking any of these powerful psychotropic drugs and was having no side effects.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Psychiatrists worry that if you take a medicine for long enough, it could stop being effective.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That is why, if you have an episode of depression while on medication, they will typically try something different.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>There were, of course, days I would forget, but they were pretty infrequent as I had seen first-hand what happens when I stopped taking the medication for an extended period.<\/p>\r\n<p>Another tense exchange occurred shortly after this one about taking the medication.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. I understand that. Now, in your report you reference that Mr. Mockensturm is also receiving therapy. Did you ask Mr. Mockensturm who his therapist was?<br \/>A. No.<br \/>Q. Would you be surprised to know that Mr. Mockensturm has not been in therapy for the last five years?<br \/>A. That would surprise me because he did say he was receiving therapy.<br \/>Q. Did you ask him whether &#8212; did you ask him how long he had been receiving therapy?<br \/>A. I believe we did talk about the length of therapy, but it was in the past, and I did not put it in there. It was in relation to one of the other incidents.<br \/>Q. You would agree with me, Dr. Reedy, that in your field a psychiatrist does not provide therapeutic services to their patients, correct?<br \/>A. That is not correct. A psychiatrist is trained and capable of providing therapeutic services. It is up to them whether they want to do that or whether they just want to give medication.<br \/>Q. Well, let\u2019s go with that. So in your specific evaluation of Mr. Mockensturm, were you under the impression that Dr. De Carle was offering therapeutic services to Mr. Mockensturm, or were you under the impression that he was simply prescribing medication to Mr. Mockensturm?<br \/>A. I\u2019m going back and forth here to find the places where we talked about that. I will tell you this, I do not recall whether that was the impression I was under. I just pulled this up last night and looked at it. I will tell you that it is very possible because I have another &#8212; I have several other clients that have seen Dr. De Carle, and he has provided some therapy to them.<br \/>Q. Do you believe, Dr. Reedy, that it would be accurate that your perception of Mr. Mockensturm is that he was a fairly honest person? I mean, you\u2019ve indicated that.<br \/>A. Yes. I would agree that he is a fairly honest person.<br \/>Q. Would you be concerned or surprised if you knew that on Mr. Mockensturm\u2019s cell phone he had a daily reminder indicated, and pardon my language, fuck with Rita?<br \/>A. I don\u2019t know that I would be surprised at anything that somebody that is going through a divorce would do. That\u2019s a whole different dynamic than what I was examining him for.<br \/>Q. Well, Dr. Reedy, part of what you were examining him for was his tendency toward being mentally unstable or violent, correct?<br \/>A. Uh-huh.<br \/>Q. You need to say yes or no just for purposes of the record.<br \/>A. Yes.<br \/>Q. So understanding the context in which you were evaluating Mr. Mockensturm, knowing that bit of information wouldn\u2019t cause you to be concerned about his mental health?<br \/>A. I would advise him on the wisdom of doing that.<br \/>Q. That\u2019s not what I asked you. I asked you if you would be &#8212;<br \/>A. Mental health, I have dealt with a lot of people who are going through divorce, and they behave very differently, at that time very differently toward their spouse or their ex-spouse, and it is not an indicator of their overall mental health. It is an indicator of the situation they find themselves in at that time.<br \/>Q. I\u2019m asking you if it would cause you to be concerned.<br \/>MS. KAUFFMAN: Objection, Your Honor, this has been asked and answered.<br \/>MS. TORQUATO: She is not answering.<br \/>THE COURT: She did answer the question. I\u2019m going to sustain it.<br \/>MS. TORQUATO: Okay.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>Reading this now, knowing that Tonia was going through a terrible divorce at this same time, is fascinating.\u00a0 I wonder if Judge Ruest or Rose knew about this.\u00a0 It would have been nice for someone to have asked Tonia if she thought having an affair with her client said anything about her mental health.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n<p>Dr. De Carle was doing more than simply prescribing me medication.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>My appointments with him were not the usual hour-long therapy sessions with a psychologist, as I did not think I needed that.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Psychologists I&#8217;d seen prior and after this have not been much help in general.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> There&#8217;s<\/span> usually not much to discuss with them.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Most of the time, I would vent my frustrations or ask for their opinion about some decision I would need to make.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Later, Rita would portray my depression issues as happening yearly or more.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>While I won&#8217;t deny that I will have some bad days every year, I have learned not to let these spiral out of control as had happened in 2001 and 2002.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<p><!--nextpage-->Tonia then called Rita&#8217;s sister, Debbie, as a witness, and during direct examination, she asked about her house and how they would reconfigure it for four more people to live there.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She said that Rita and the kids had stayed at her home multiple times when they visited.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However, I doubt this was true as I always went with them before 2013, and we always stayed with Rita&#8217;s parents.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>One telling exchange was:<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Now, have you opened your home up to your sister and her children if the Court were to permit her to relocate?<br \/>A. Yes.<br \/>Q. And why have you done that?<br \/>A. Because I feel the kids would do better with us there.<br \/>Q. Do you have a close relationship with your sister and her children?<br \/>A. Yes, I do.<br \/>Q. How would you describe your relationship with them?<br \/>A. They are &#8212; the kids are like my own. I try to spend as much time as possible with them whenever I can.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I think this was really at the heart of why Rita&#8217;s sister and mother were pushing her to move so strongly, well before she&#8217;d reacquainted herself with Mike.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> Debbie<\/span>&#8216;s children passing away left an enormous void in her and her mother&#8217;s lives.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> Rita&#8217;s<\/span> two brothers&#8217; kids didn&#8217;t have much to do with Rita&#8217;s sister or mother daily.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Two of them lived in Texas, and the others just weren&#8217;t around much.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> <br \/><\/span><\/p>\r\n<p>Debbie also spoke a lot about Amanda&#8217;s health issues and how she and her mother would come to stay while Amanda was in the hospital 90 miles away.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However, the sequence of questions Tonia asked was interesting and portrayed something much different than reality.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She first asked how long Debbie and her mother would stay, and Debbie said, &#8220;I usually stay three or four weeks.&#8221; My recollection says this is an exaggeration, but not a huge one.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However, Tonia then asked how many surgeries Amanda had had. Debbie said, &#8220;She has had twelve,&#8221; which leaves the judge to infer that Debbie had spent three or four weeks in Pennsylvania on twelve different occasions and was certainly <i>not<\/i> the case.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I suspect Debbie came about three, maybe four, times.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Many of the twelve surgeries were minor or performed during the same hospital stay.<\/p>\r\n<p>Another exchange was very telling of what happened during Amanda&#8217;s surgeries.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. When Amanda had to have these surgeries, who was typically at the hospital with her?<br \/>A. Rita; Rita was there the entire time. She never left.<br \/>Q. When she had these surgeries, how often &#8212; not often, how long did she have to remain in the hospital?<br \/>A. She was in the hospital this last time two-and-half weeks.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>While this might sound noble, and it was great that Rita could always be there for Amanda, two other kids were home.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I obviously couldn&#8217;t take two or three weeks off work to take care of Caleb and Amelia, who were relatively young during many of Amanda&#8217;s surgeries.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It was undoubtedly hard having the hospital so far away, and it was great that Debbie could come so Rita could stay with Amanda.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I will admit that it would have been nice to live in a major medical center and have more relatives nearby.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>My mother helped a great deal after Amanda was born but unfortunately had advanced cancer at that point and wouldn&#8217;t live long.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It is also interesting to note that Rita&#8217;s father, who was retired, is never mentioned at this hearing.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I only recall him coming to Pennsylvania a couple of times.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I liked him, and he always did things with the kids in Michigan, but his absence at this hearing was odd.<\/p>\r\n<p>Finally, Debbie starts testifying about how I was a terrible father.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Based upon your personal observations, how would you describe the children\u2019s interactions with their mom?<br \/>A. They rely completely on their mom to the point I think they need to be a little more independent of their mom, but &#8212; yeah.<br \/>Q. When you were staying in the home and when you stayed in the home, how would you describe the interactions between dad and the kids?<br \/>A. Very minimal.<br \/>Q. Why?<br \/>A. He would be on the couch, on the computer, would not take care of any other needs. One time I was there and it was time to get Caleb to school and Amelia woke up needing a feeding, I asked him, do you want to take Caleb to school, or would you feed Amelia. He said he would feed Amelia. I got back from the school, he had awoken my mom to feed Amelia.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I would probably agree that when Debbie and her mother were there, I probably did less with the kids than usual because I wanted them to spend time with their aunt and grandmother.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I have no recollection of waking Rita&#8217;s mom to feed Amelia, and I really can&#8217;t believe I would have done that unless there was something essential I needed to do.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I had no problem feeding Amelia or any of the other kids.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It was something I enjoyed.\u00a0 I suspect Rita&#8217;s mom simply woke up on her own and said she&#8217;d feed Amelia.\u00a0 I honestly can&#8217;t imagine going into where she was sleeping to wake her.<\/p>\r\n<p>Debbie also testified that she had to stop working to help take care of her mother and father, and she could not continue to come for extended periods to help with Amanda.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rose saw the inconsistency here.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. So you indicate that you needed to stop working because your parents need your help, but in fact it looks to me, if your timeframe is right, that you left the day after you stopped working and you\u2019ve been here since; is that correct?<br \/>A. Well, that\u2019s part of the reason.<br \/>Q. But is that &#8212; I\u2019m asking you, is that correct that you left essentially the day after you stopped working &#8212;<br \/>A. Yes.<br \/>Q. &#8212; to come here?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Your parents have been &#8212; you\u2019ve been here two-and-a-half &#8212; almost two-and-a-half months?<br \/>A. Right.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>Tonia then called Rita&#8217;s mother, Joan, to testify.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>After talking about her and her husband&#8217;s medical issues, she got into bashing me as a father.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. And did you have the opportunity to observe Mr. Mockensturm\u2019s interactions with the children?<br \/>A. Yes.<br \/>Q. How would you describe that? Was he involved, not involved?<br \/>A. No, not really. Once in a while he would notice if they\u2019re doing something funny and stuff like that.<br \/>Q. What would you typically observe him doing when you were visiting?<br \/>A. Mainly playing on the computer, using the computer.<br \/>Q. Have you ever observed Mr. Mockensturm assisting with Amanda\u2019s medical care?<br \/>A. No.<br \/>Q. Have you ever observed your daughter telling him he couldn\u2019t help with the medical care?<br \/>A. No.<br \/>Q. How would you describe Mr. Mockensturm\u2019s relationship with the children based upon your personal observations?<br \/>A. Oh, I\u2019m sure he probably loves them, but he doesn\u2019t care to interact with them. I mean, he doesn\u2019t go out and play games and stuff like that, that I know of, put it that way, except for a few times.<br \/>Q. What about just the day to day getting dinner, getting lunch, that kind of stuff?<br \/>A. I\u2019ve never seen him fix dinner or lunch or anything like that.<br \/>Q. What about helping to bathe the kids, anything like that?<br \/>A. No, not that I\u2019ve seen.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>It is simply not true that she had never seen me assist with Amanda&#8217;s medical care. When we first learned to care for Amanda or needed specific things done after surgery, I helped a lot.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> However, Rita took over that job, and most of the time, she didn&#8217;t need help. However, Rita essentially took over that job, and most of the time, she didn&#8217;t need help. <\/span>Later on, when things got more routine, I would only help if Rita asked, primarily when there was a problem.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Plus, Amanda was getting older and did not want me (or any other man) dealing with her bowel issues.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<p><!--nextpage-->It was James&#8217; testimony that irritated me the most.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He was very bitter and blamed me for making him move out of our house.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> I&#8217;m<\/span> not going to deride James as much as I could here because I feel bad that his father abandoned him, and once his mother got remarried and had another child, he ignored him.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Plus, I suspect James had always lived pretty much in poverty.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rita cared a lot about James, as he primarily lived with Rita and her parents for a few years when Rita was in high school.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He is a decent person but has some major character flaws that I hope he has addressed.<\/p>\r\n<p>After he graduated from high school, he went to trade school to be a diesel tractor-trailer mechanic.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>One of the difficult things about starting as a mechanic is that employers expect you to have tools, and the ones for working on tractor-trailers are costly.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Thus, the plan was to let James live with us for a year to work and save money to buy tools.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This plan never happened.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>First, James seemed to be utterly incapable of saving money.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> I&#8217;m<\/span> not exactly sure where his money went, but I know he bought many &#8220;toys,&#8221; and he weighed nearly 600 pounds, so I have to assume a lot of money went to food, although I think my income was feeding him.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>James worked at a lot of different restaurants delivering&#8211;and probably eating&#8211;pizza, etc.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He would continually claim that he didn&#8217;t overeat, and he would not accept that you cannot weigh that much and not be overeating.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>His weight was seriously affecting his health, too, as his blood pressure was ridiculously high.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I recall him saying at one point; it was like 300 over 150.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He seemed proud of this and his &#8220;enlarged&#8221; heart.<\/p>\r\n<p>Although it should have been clear that he wasn&#8217;t brilliant, he <i>always<\/i> thought he knew best.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>At one point, we decided that maybe we could convert half of the garage into a small apartment for him.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The plan was to turn what had initially been a laundry\/utility room adjacent to the garage into a bathroom.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We would then build a wall splitting the garage in two, another in front of the garage door, and insulate everything.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>James said he could do all this, and, for whatever reason, I agreed with Rita and let him start work.<\/p>\r\n<p>The first project he started on was converting the utility room into a bathroom.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It seemed like it was going okay, although it was clear James was cobbling things together.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Then one day, I came home from work to find a door-sized opening between the utility room and the garage.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I had explicitly told him not to do it until the very end.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However, he said it was a hassle to use the door from the garage into the house&#8211;which was adjacent to the utility room&#8211;to get the work done, so he decided to make the opening for the door.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It was not significant at the time because it was summer, but since there were plenty of examples of projects James had abandoned around the house, I anticipated that this project would take a long time to finish, or it wouldn&#8217;t get finished at all.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>In the end, he never finished, and we wound up trying to seal off the utility room from the rest of the house once it got cold.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We should have just hired someone competent to do the work, as he also destroyed the basement bathroom to the point that it was unusable trying to access the plumbing.<\/p>\r\n<p>James was also very racist and had a Confederate flag hanging in the furnished part of the basement, which he had turned into a bedroom.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> I&#8217;m sure he&#8217;s a huge Trump supporter. <\/span>When I started to see some of these racist views&#8211;especially towards Asians&#8211;showing up in my children, I told Rita I thought it was time for James to move out.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>At that point, he had been living with us for about three years.<\/p>\r\n<p>He then found a place in a trailer park just outside of State College, and I think Rita&#8217;s parents helped him pay for the trailer, so he only had to pay the lot fees.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This arrangement turned out to be an utter disaster.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>While the mobile home was in pretty bad shape when he bought it, it was utterly worthless when he moved out.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It was clear he was not capable of living on his own.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He lived there for about a year before he wound up with congestive heart failure and moved back in with us.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> I think he simply abandoned the trailer.<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p>I&#8217;m not sure how long he stayed this time, but over a year, I believe.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He then decided to move back to Michigan under the auspices of helping his grandparents.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I think he lived with them for some time before finally finding an apartment.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I didn&#8217;t keep up with what he was doing once he moved out, but I suspect his grandfather would have grown tired of living with him.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<p><!--nextpage-->The following is the entirety of James&#8217; testimony.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. James, can you please state your name and address for the record.<br \/>A. James Allen Hanson, 271 Hurd Street, Milan, Michigan 48159 &#8212; or, 160, sorry.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>The first zip code he gave is that of his grandparents.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Thus, I suspect that he had probably only recently moved.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This address is a house, but I cannot imagine he saved up enough money to buy it; I suspect he was renting part of it.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. And how old are you?<br \/>A. 29.<br \/>Q. And how are you related to Rita and her children?<br \/>A. Nephew and cousins.<br \/>Q. And what do you do for a living?<br \/>A. I work at a Plastic &amp; Molding factory.<br \/>Q. And how long have you been working there?<br \/>A. Two-and-a-half weeks, my new job.<br \/>Q. Can you &#8212; let\u2019s just get right into the timeframe here. Did you have the opportunity to live with Rita and Mr. Mockensturm?<br \/>A. Yes, I did.<br \/>Q. For how long?<br \/>A. I got there in \u201804, November or October of \u201804, and stayed with them for a long time, like a few years.<br \/>Q. Tell us when, until when?<br \/>A. First period was like \u201807, and then I got my own place, and then I got sick, and they let me come back.<br \/>Q. Okay.<br \/>A. And then I stayed with them until I moved back here.<br \/>Q. And when you came in 2004 &#8212; this is why I\u2019m not a doctor &#8212; you were how old?<br \/>A. 21.<br \/>Q. So you\u2019re 21 years old, and you move in. Why initially are you coming to move in with them?<br \/>A. I didn\u2019t really have any plan for my life at first, and they had the shoe store stuff going on, and I was going to help them with that, and then November, Rita broke her legs, so I initiated just helping her out, and then I started working at a pizza place right next door to the shoe store.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>As I stated before, my understanding from Rita was that he would save money to purchase tools.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Well, let\u2019s talk about the &#8212; the shoe store is kind of throwing us all off. What\u2019s the shoe store piece of it?<br \/>A. Small Feet [sic] Footwear, it\u2019s a business they started.<br \/>Q. Who\u2019s they?<br \/>A. Aunt Rita and Uncle Eric.<br \/>Q. So they started this shoe store business. How long did that go on?<br \/>A. Five years probably.<br \/>Q. They basically were giving you a job, right?<br \/>A. Pretty much. I mean, I worked at the shoe store pretty much for a whole year at the one location, and we moved it to a different location.<br \/>Q. Now 2004, who\u2019s around, Caleb and Amanda?<br \/>A. Yes. They were little.<br \/>Q. Can you just briefly describe for the Court, based upon your personal observations having lived there for a number of years, what you observed Mr. Mockensturm\u2019s interaction and help with the kids was like?<br \/>A. Well, I know he wasn\u2019t very active in their outside of the house playtime. I was more like the outdoor person.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>James played with the kids outside quite a bit, but I also recall playing with them outside the house a lot, doing things like pushing them on the swing, pushing them in the stroller, taking them to the park, etc.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. What about inside?<br \/>A. He was on the computer, usually sat on the couch. Well, when I first got there, the recliner that was upstairs is where he used to sit. Rita and I hardly ever seen him when he got out of work. He would sit upstairs in the recliner and on the computer until he went to bed, upstairs, and then he had to change because the recliner started deteriorating, and then he came downstairs, and then he finally threw it out. Then he started staying downstairs because the recliner was going upstairs. Then he would just sit in one spot on the couch, and then the other couch that was in the other room, he would just transfer from one room to another occasionally.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>This statement annoys me as it&#8217;s completely untrue.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I have no idea what James is talking about with a recliner deteriorating.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Even if I sat in a recliner while home awake every day for years, I doubt it would deteriorate to the point that we&#8217;d throw it out.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>James broke a few pieces of furniture because he&#8217;d flop his 600 pounds down on a chair not designed to support that much weight.<\/p>\r\n<p>I also have no idea what he&#8217;s talking about me transferring from one room to another.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>None of this makes any sense.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I will admit that I worked a lot at home because I was trying to get tenure and keep the shoe store afloat.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I was doing all the accounting and payroll for the store and the vast majority of the advertising.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>James also mentions us moving the shoe store but does not mention that I spend months building shelves for the new store.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Are we talking working on the computer for an hour or two?<br \/>A. It would be hours, most of the night.<br \/>Q. What about during the day?<br \/>A. He would &#8212; like, the weekends or the week days?<br \/>Q. Well, let\u2019s talk about &#8212;<br \/>A. The week days, he would be at work or class teaching, whatever he was doing. I don\u2019t know; I don\u2019t baby sit him. I\u2019m just saying from what I could see at home when he got out of work, he\u2019d go upstairs, do his thing, bathroom, get a snack, sit down. Aunt Rita would start making dinner, and then we\u2019d just sit there until I decided to get the kids outside because it was boring in the house. In the summertime, it was nice out.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I was <i>positively<\/i> not working most of the night.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I have never been a person that can function with little sleep.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> I&#8217;m<\/span> surprised he didn&#8217;t accuse me of sleeping all the time because when he first moved in, doctors had not diagnosed my sleep apnea, and I was tired all the time.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I love the &#8220;teaching class or whatever he was doing&#8221; thing.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>One thing that none of Rita&#8217;s family ever understood because none of them had gone to college was what a professor at a major research university did.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>They acted like all I needed to do was teach a couple of classes and that I could do nothing during the summers.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rita understood a bit because she&#8217;d been with me through graduate school, but I don&#8217;t think she ever really understood.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She wanted it just to be a job for me.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Unfortunately, being a professor will never be just a job, or you won&#8217;t be a professor very long.<\/p>\r\n<p>I will admit that I didn&#8217;t do much cooking initially, but we did have traditional roles.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Plus, Rita always seemed to want to do the cooking.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She told me quite a few times to get out of &#8220;her&#8221; kitchen.<\/p>\r\n<p>Finally, it&#8217;s just hilarious that James says he&#8217;s the one that was motivated to do things.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He sure didn&#8217;t have a lot of energy for doing tasks besides eating for the small amount he worked.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Now, you last &#8212; and what you just described, is that pretty &#8212; is that representative of &#8212;<br \/>A. Everyday life there, yes.<br \/>Q. Now, you\u2019ve heard the testimony here from some individuals thus far, and you\u2019ve heard that Mr. Mockensturm has suffered from depression.<br \/>A. Yes.<br \/>Q. Have you observed Mr. Mockensturm in these periods of depression?<br \/>A. Yes, I have.<br \/>Q. What do they look like?<br \/>A. Dark, dark, like you &#8212; I couldn\u2019t even talk to him. It was very &#8212; like a blank sheet of paper.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>The thing is, James did not even see me during the worst episodes, and by the time he moved in, things were pretty much under control.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I would have a few bad days here and there, and the last person I wanted to see during that time was James.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I don&#8217;t recall ever really interacting with him while I was depressed.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Doing so would have just caused me more anxiety.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>If I was giving James a blank stare, it was because I presumably couldn&#8217;t comprehend the idiotic thing he&#8217;d just said.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. And how long would these &#8212; based upon your personal observations, how long would these depressive episodes last?<br \/>A. Like a month or so, depending what he feels like. I just kind of like try to avoid him when he\u2019s in that period of time.<br \/>Q. And how often did you see this happening?<br \/>A. At first, only like a few times, but it started to seem like it was every winter.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>Again, this is untrue.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The first couple of episodes did indeed last for months, but after I realized I needed to take my medicine, they would never last for more than a couple of days.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>What makes no sense is that I was teaching classes during this entire time.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> There&#8217;s<\/span> no way I could do that if I was functioning, as James describes.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>At some point, I just started to avoid James altogether.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The stuff he would do was just infuriating.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It seemed like everything he touched went to shit.<\/p>\r\n<p>I remember him getting mad at me when I told him not to park directly in front of the shoe store when he was working there.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Employees do not park near the store at every business I know, leaving those spaces for the customers.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Plus, when there are always kids involved, it is essential to make getting them into the store and out of the parking lot as quickly as possible.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I later learned that James was mad because he believed I thought his beat-up truck was an eyesore.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Beginning when; can you give me a year?<br \/>A. Like during \u201805. Like, I\u2019d see it gradually, and then it started like every year in the fall when school started. I think he was just getting like overwhelmed, but you know.<br \/>Q. Did it involve anything other than &#8212;<br \/>A. No.<br \/>Q. This blank sheet that you<br \/>A. No, just what he would show. Like, that\u2019s all I could see.<br \/>Q. During those periods of &#8212; well, just for lack of a better word, these depressive periods of time, did you notice or observe a marked difference in his interaction with the children?<br \/>A. Maybe about the same or a little. He wouldn\u2019t show hardly any love to them, if you think about it.<br \/>Q. Now, did you see him &#8212; and I apologize if I asked this, bathing the kids?<br \/>A. No.<br \/>Q. Helping with Amanda\u2019s medical care?<br \/>A. Not really.<br \/>Q. Okay. What does \u201cnot really\u201d mean?<br \/>A. Like, not at all.<br \/>Q. So &#8212;<br \/>A. Probably twice I\u2019ve seen him do it.<br \/>Q. When Amanda was how old?<br \/>A. Probably six years ago; probably like five.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>James acts like he is always around to observe things.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The fact was, he spent most of the time in the basement playing video games or watching movies.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>James didn&#8217;t help around the house much, and his work almost always needed to be redone.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I would ask him to do things that I thought there was no way he could mess up, and then he would find a way.<\/p>\r\n<p>Why is Tonia so worried about if I helped bathe the kids?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I did on occasion but bathing them is not a two-person job.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>None of the bathrooms were that big, even to have two adults trying to wash the kids.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Plus, Rita would give me Amelia while I was showering almost every weekday morning so she could deal with Caleb and Amanda.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She would do the same regularly with Amanda and Caleb when they were young.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Clearly, James never saw this.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Who would typically assist Rita with that kind of help if she needed it?<br \/>A. I would be the second person, but initially she wouldn\u2019t be comfortable at first because she didn\u2019t know if I knew everything, but I really didn\u2019t. I just knew what ring you had to pull and how to do it, and Amanda told how and explained it to me. Because she knew a lot, you know, for a five-year-old, amazing. But she\u2019d make me call Aunt Rita immediately. If Aunt Rita wasn\u2019t around, and she wouldn\u2019t change her pull-up, she would wait to see if Aunt Rita would make it in time. She wouldn\u2019t have anybody do it, even if Eric was upstairs.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>As I&#8217;ve said before, Rita had Amanda convinced that Rita was the only one that could adequately care for her.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I changed plenty of diapers and pull-ups, which Amanda wore until she was at least 13.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>As she got older, she didn&#8217;t want any man doing it, and assuredly not James. I felt pretty uncomfortable changing Amanda during the trips Rita took in 2012; Amanda was 11.<\/p>\r\n<p>James was also definitely not the second person to help unless I was at work.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I don&#8217;t recall James ever going to the hospital with us when Rita couldn&#8217;t get the catheter into empty Amanda&#8217;s bladder in the middle of the night.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I honestly do not recall James helping Amanda, and I can&#8217;t imagine Amanda would even have allowed it.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Now, you testified that you were there from 2004 to 2007, correct?<br \/>A. Yeah, and then I got my own place.<br \/>Q. You got your own place where; here in Pennsylvania?<br \/>A. In Pennsylvania, in a trailer park. I was kind of forced out, because he &#8211;<br \/>Q. Who\u2019s he?<br \/>A. Eric, Uncle Eric kind of had a meltdown because I lost a cat, because I stayed at the shoe store because they rented the house out for a football weekend, and I couldn\u2019t keep control of the black cat they had. He was a pain.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I certainly didn&#8217;t make him move out because he lost a cat.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I recall two incidents with James concerning our cats, and none of these involved the shoe store.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The first was when Cole ran away while staying with James at his trailer.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Cole was an outdoor cat, so I wasn&#8217;t shocked that he might run away.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I was surprised that he showed up at our house on the other side of town months later. It&#8217;s possible that Cole ran away from the shoe store and not from James&#8217; trailer, but I&#8217;m not sure why James would have had him at the shoe store.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<p><!--nextpage-->I think what he might remember is the second incident, I believe, was with Charm, a stray we&#8217;d adopted, but this was after we closed the shoe store.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>For some reason, we were taking Charm to Michigan&#8211;maybe because she&#8217;d just had to have her tail amputated&#8211;and stopped at a rest area along the Ohio Turnpike.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>James was with us.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>When we stopped, I specifically asked James if Charm was in her cage because I didn&#8217;t want her getting loose in a busy parking lot.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He said she was, but when we opened the sliding door on the minivan, Charm bolts out of the car.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>James thought he would be able to hold her.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>No one saw where she went, and we spent a long time looking for her.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This situation was a nightmare and the one I was very much trying to avoid.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The kids were all distraught and crying.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rita and I are trying to figure out how to tell the kids that we&#8217;d have to abandon her if we didn&#8217;t find her.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Finally, James that found her in the wheel well of the car next to ours.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Whose cat was it?<br \/>A. Theirs. I was taking care of their cats and getting them out of the house for the shoe store &#8212; or, the house rental weekend, and I stayed at the shoe store with the three cats and to watch the shoe store on Saturday.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>All of the cats were outdoor cats, but I&#8217;m guessing we had asked James to keep them inside while he had them at the shoe store so they wouldn&#8217;t get lost.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I have no recollection of James losing a cat at the shoe store.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>If he did, he found it because they all died of old age at our home, although Roxy did die at the shoe store, but not because she ran away. Nothing about this makes sense.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. So how long did you live in the trailer park?<br \/>A. A year.<br \/>Q. Is that from 2007 &#8212; give me a year.<br \/>A. 2007 to like Christmas time of 2008.<br \/>Q. From that &#8212; from 2007 to 2008, were you involved in helping Rita and the kids at all?<br \/>A. I kind of separated because I thought Eric didn\u2019t want me around anymore. I felt like I shouldn\u2019t come around until he\u2019s either at work or gone on one of his teaching trips or whatever he has to do, which was rare, but I just felt unwanted.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>If he wasn&#8217;t more of a burden than help, he might have felt wanted.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>But James was a person that cut corners all the time with usually bad outcomes.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He didn&#8217;t get the cat in the cage because that would have been difficult, and he thought he could hold her.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>He busted a hole in the wall because it was too burdensome to use the garage door <i>next to<\/i> the utility room.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It was nice that he wanted to help, but&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. I don\u2019t want to spend a lot of time on this, but you testified that your Aunt Rita broke her legs?<br \/>A. Yes.<br \/>Q. When did she break her legs?<br \/>A. In the fall of 2004, around November.<br \/>Q. Who was taking care of the kids and Rita?<br \/>A. Me, and then Debbie and grandma got there. Because Uncle Eric kind of checked out, because he &#8212; when she broke her legs and he was right behind her on the stairs, he really like went white and just stood there, and I had to come up and carry the kids in the house, and she was the one that called the ambulance.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>This event happened on election day in 2004 when Bush got reelected.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I wasn&#8217;t right behind her when she fell.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I was in the house, and Rita was taking Amanda out to the car for an appointment.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I have no idea what happened because the front steps were in no way hazardous.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However, somehow Rita seriously messed up her lower leg; her foot pointed in the wrong direction.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I heard Rita screaming and went out to see what was wrong, and I think I probably called for James to come to get Amanda.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I don&#8217;t recall if Caleb was outside at the time.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I don&#8217;t recall him being there; he may have been at school.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I don&#8217;t remember who called the ambulance, but I seriously doubt it was Rita.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I admit it was a little hard to look at, and doing so would have made anyone cringe.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Our neighbor at the time was an ER doctor, and he was outside and came over when he heard the screaming.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I still remember him saying, &#8220;That looks pretty bad, Rita.&#8221; Fortunately, he was there and was able to give the order for the EMTs to provide Rita with morphine, so she was not in so much pain riding to the hospital.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. So when did you move back into the residence?<br \/>A. After the &#8212; when I moved out, like in 2007?<br \/>Q. Yes.<br \/>A. Back in like &#8212; it was right in Christmas time of 2008.<br \/>Q. From Christmas time 2008, how long did you reside there?<br \/>A. Until I left there November 15, 2011.<br \/>Q. So from Christmas 2008 to November of 2011<br \/>A. Yes.<br \/>Q. &#8212; you lived back in the house with them?<br \/>A. Yeah. I almost died in 2008.<br \/>Q. What happened to you in 2008?<br \/>A. I had congestive heart failure for the first time. I worked myself to death basically.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>No, James, you ate yourself to death.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I hope he has finally figured out that all of his health problems are not because of working too much, having blood pressures over 200 is not cool, and having an enlarged heart is not a good thing.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I wasn&#8217;t aware he&#8217;d had more heart problems, but I can&#8217;t say I&#8217;m surprised.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. So tell me, did you observe any change in Mr. Mockensturm\u2019s depression, interactions with the kids &#8212;<br \/>A. Not really, it\u2019s about the same.<br \/>Q. Did anything get worse or better, to your recollection?<br \/>A. No. Everything was diminishing from, like, it was you could just tell it was not working.<br \/>Q. What was not working?<br \/>A. Their marriage.<br \/>Q. Let\u2019s talk about his interactions with the kids.<br \/>A. It was very seldom that he was actually doing anything with them. I mean, he would help Caleb with math, but it would be from a different room on a different computer.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>How would I help Caleb with math from a different room on another computer?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That makes no sense.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. What about getting the kids up and on the bus and that kind of stuff in the morning?<br \/>A. No, no, it\u2019s not going to happen. I think he would take Amanda to school occasionally on the scooter, but that was &#8212;<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>Rita would indeed typically get the kids ready for school while I was getting ready for work.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We only had one car at the time, so we would all leave together.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We would drop them off at school, and Rita would take me to work.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This route was about a five-mile round trip for her.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Caleb did ride the bus in middle school, but it wasn&#8217;t like he needed someone to get him on the bus.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Although we did have to make sure he didn&#8217;t &#8220;accidentally&#8221; miss it.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>At this point, I had a small scooter and would ride that to work if the weather permitted.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Since Amanda&#8217;s school was on the way, she would ride with me.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I think she enjoyed it, and I think she liked carrying her helmet into school with her.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. He would take her to school on a scooter?<br \/>A. Yeah. She wore a helmet.<br \/>Q. During that period of time, were there any babysitters that came in?<br \/>A. Oh, yeah. There were a few, yeah. Some moved on. Some still live in the area, but they would still have to be there even though he was there just to help out.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>Rita did hire a few babysitters so she could work at the shoe store more.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However, they rarely stayed after I got home as I rarely ever saw them.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. What were you doing during this time that you moved back in; did you have a job?<br \/>A. Yes. I was working at Papa John\u2019s Brothers Pizza. I had several different jobs because they couldn\u2019t &#8212; they were going to pay for all this stuff so I had to work to pay it.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I&#8217;m not sure, but maybe Rita was making him pay rent.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I don&#8217;t remember and certainly didn&#8217;t see anything that looks like rent payments deposited in the bank during this period.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. How\u2019s your relationship with the kids?<br \/>A. Pretty much like a dad to them. I mean, even Caleb has said something like, thanks for helping me do this, and I don\u2019t have nothing else to do. Amanda is like always on me. I\u2019m a big part of their life; that\u2019s all I can tell you. Amanda calls me all the time, and Amelia steals her phone and does it.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>James was like a big kid, a much older brother who never got his life together enough to move on.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The kids enjoyed him because he always brought home new toys like remote control cars and bought new video games and movies.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Maybe James thought he was playing the role of a father because he never really had one.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>James certainly did not play this role, and unless he&#8217;s gotten his life together, I cannot imagine him being a parent.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>While I have no idea what James has been doing for the last seven years, I don&#8217;t think he has any kids, or my kids would have probably mentioned it.<\/p>\r\n<p>They seem to have <i>very<\/i> little to do with him even though he lives very close to them.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I have asked them how he&#8217;s doing a few times because I hope he&#8217;s figured things out.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However, they always say they rarely ever see him.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I suspect that Rita has finally figured out that he&#8217;s not a good influence.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. So since you\u2019ve moved out of the home, you still maintain contact with your cousins?<br \/>A. Yes.<br \/>MS. TORQUATO: I have nothing further, Your Honor.<br \/>THE COURT: Cross, Ms. Kauffman?<br \/>MS. KAUFFMAN: I have nothing.<br \/>THE COURT: Thank you. You may stand down.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I wanted Rose to rip James apart after this, but I understand the legal maneuver here.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She essentially said, &#8220;I have nothing.&#8221; in a way that said, &#8220;I don&#8217;t even know where to start with this idiot.&#8221; It was also apparent that Judge Ruest could see what was going on, and I&#8217;m sure she dismissed everything James said.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<p><!--nextpage-->Rita&#8217;s testimony started by telling the court about how the kids were doing in school and expanding on Amanda&#8217;s medical conditions and care.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She very much exaggerated things at times.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>For example,<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Can you tell me what Mr. Mockensturm\u2019s involvement with her care has been like?<br \/>A. He pretty much has never done her ACE. I\u2019ve showed him a couple of times how to do it just in case something would happen to me or I couldn\u2019t have done it for some reason. I don\u2019t know if he ever did her bladder catheter, maybe once in the hospital when the doctors were showing us how to do it. He would change her pull-up when needed if I wasn\u2019t there. She didn\u2019t prefer him to do it, but he would do it, and she would let him only if I wasn\u2019t there.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I don&#8217;t think I ever did ACE on my own because Rita was always there to do it.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 If Rita were gone, she would make sure to do it before she left.\u00a0 Plus, it was required and simply prevented Amanda from having &#8220;accidents.&#8221; The procedure<\/span> consisted of putting a catheter in a port on Amanda&#8217;s abdomen that went into her large intestine.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We would then gravity feed soapy water into the port to flush out her bowels.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I did often help get things ready, but it wasn&#8217;t that much effort to put soapy water into a bag.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>After getting the processes going, Rita would usually leave to do other things, usually with Amanda wearing an oversized diaper and laying in bed with the bag of soapy water suspended above her.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It would take between 30 and 45 minutes usually to flush everything out.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rita would then come to remove the diaper and clean Amanda up.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Amanda did not want anyone else doing this, and I wasn&#8217;t eager to intervene forcefully.<\/p>\r\n<p>As she got older, I kept telling Rita that we needed her to sit on the toilet for this as she was certainly old enough and capable of taking care of it.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Amanda refused to do it, and I honestly don&#8217;t know why.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The last I knew, when Amanda was 13, Rita was still doing the ACE with Amanda laying in bed with an adult diaper.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 In early 2021, Amanda told me that she hadn&#8217;t had to do an ACE in quite a few years.\u00a0 I&#8217;m not sure what changed, but I suspect it partially was because she was motivated not to do it. <\/span><\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Does she wear a pull-up now?<br \/>A. Every day. Even though she doesn\u2019t have an accident every day, it\u2019s just her comfort of she doesn\u2019t want to be at school and have that kind of accident.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>Because the ACE wasn&#8217;t always 100% effective, Amanda wore a pull-up until she moved to Michigan.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I assume that since she isn&#8217;t doing an ACE now, she is no longer wearing one.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Now, has Mr. Mockensturm not participated because you\u2019re a momma bear and said, hands off, I can do it, and you just refused to allow him to do it?<br \/>MS. KAUFFMAN: Objection, Your Honor. She\u2019s leading the witness.<br \/>THE COURT: Sustained.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>There was a terrible co-dependency issue between Rita and Amanda. Rita was a &#8220;momma bear&#8221; and had Amanda believing that she was the only person that could adequately care for her. I think caring for Amanda made Rita feel needed and essential, and over time Amanda came to depend on Rita for her care.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>However, there were times when Amanda was very young when Rita just was not comfortable doing things the doctors had told us to do.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>One thing, in particular, was after she had the Hirschsprung&#8217;s pull-through surgery, we had to dilate her anus with this metal probe-like thing, so the scar tissue remained compliant.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rita could not bring herself to do it because it was clearly painful.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>BY MS. TORQUATO:<br \/>Q. Have you encouraged Mr. Mockensturm to participate?<br \/>A. I have, and I have asked him to help me because of the lack of sleep, and especially in the beginning it was very, very difficult to have a newborn and have a kid that had to be taken care of frequently throughout the day and throughout the night. I asked him could you just get up with her one time at night or maybe one or two nights a week, and a lot of times he would be up anyway. He would be up until 3:00 in the morning on the computer. I am like, well, can you get up with her at midnight and 3:00 a.m. and then I can sleep until 6:00. And he just wouldn\u2019t do it.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I spoke about this before.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We had agreed to alternate nights, but on my nights, Rita would get up anyway because she didn&#8217;t trust that I would ensure Amanda&#8217;s bladder was empty.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She had no reason to distrust me, but it was her nature to oversee everything with Amanda.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>After a couple of weeks of this, I told her if she was getting up anyway, it was ridiculous for me to get up too.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We tried a couple of times subsequently, and the same thing happened.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\r\n<p>I was constantly advocating that Amanda simply leave the catheter in at night so she, and everyone else, could sleep.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Rita refused because the doctor had told us it would be better not to leave the catheter. After all, it might cause the flap of tissue that acted as a valve not to seal shut as well, and urine might leak out of the port when a catheter was not in place.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I thought this trade-off was well worth it.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>If a bit of urine occasionally leaked out, it would have been no big deal.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Amanda would simply wind up with a small wet spot on her shirt if it happened at school, which no one would assume was urine.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Plus, she could always have extra shirts at school with the nurse so she could change.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Additionally, we could have simply taped or strapped something absorbent over the port.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I could never understand this masochistic behavior on Rita&#8217;s part.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Now, you also heard Ms. Westerhaus testify on Cross-Examination that Mr. Mockensturm had been to two out of the three IEP meetings. Is that because you weren\u2019t &#8212; why is that?<br \/>A. Basically we split the duties. I was the one taking care of the physical health of Amanda and doing her care, and because her care is around the clock, it was just easier for him to go and deal with Caleb\u2019s educational needs because I was dealing with Amanda\u2019s other needs.<br \/>Q. What was that &#8212; what did that responsibility consist of; what did that commitment consist of?<br \/>A. Of taking care of Amanda?<br \/>Q. No, Caleb.<br \/>A. Oh, basically there would be a meeting once or twice a year that he would attend, and that was it.<br \/>Q. When he would come home from those IEP meetings, was there any kind of discussion?<br \/>A. Very little. I would just ask, how was his IEP; did they change anything. He says, oh, he\u2019s doing okay. Nothing really changed. Never really discussed much of it. I would read the report when it came in the mail, talked with his teachers, if need be. I\u2019d e-mail them back and forth. Like I said, working in the school, I talked with his aides that were working with him. They would bring me his homework if he had something that needed to be done that he wasn\u2019t going to get done in Homework Club, but for the most part, there really wasn\u2019t much discussed about it.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>This statement is entirely untrue.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>First, I would never say, &#8220;He&#8217;s doing okay,&#8221; because it was always apparent after the meeting that he was not.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I constantly asked Rita to go to these meetings because, as I mentioned before, I would go in thinking things were good from what Rita would tell me when I got home from work.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Then I would hear that he hadn&#8217;t turned in over 50% of his assignments.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It was just never clear what was going on.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>There was always a discrepancy between what I would hear from Rita and what the teachers would tell me.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I would then report this to Rita, and she would always say that he&#8217;d done whatever came home with him.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It took a few years to figure out that he simply was &#8220;losing&#8221; the homework before getting home.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We could have figured this out much sooner if Rita had gone to the meetings as I&#8217;d asked.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>We then started a system where Caleb&#8217;s teacher would email Rita telling her what homework he was supposed to have.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This process worked for a bit, but the emails became more inconsistent, with Rita assuming that Caleb didn&#8217;t have homework if she didn&#8217;t get anything.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I genuinely believe Caleb&#8217;s education was hampered by Rita not attending these meetings.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>She <em>needed<\/em> to be there.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>A. It\u2019s Eric\u2019s family. He has cousins there and uncles there and aunts there.<br \/>Q. I\u2019m showing you what\u2019s been marked as Plaintiff\u2019s Exhibit 10. Can you just identify this for the record?<br \/>A. This is my list of family members, and on the second page is Eric\u2019s family members.<br \/>Q. Did you prepare this list?<br \/>A. Yes, I did.<br \/>Q. Why did you do that?<br \/>A. Just to kind of show that we are a large family. We are a very close knit family. We do a lot of things together, and my kids would have a lot of support there. They also have a lot of extended family that they would spend time with.<br \/>Q. And the second page of that document, where it says Eric\u2019s family &#8212;<br \/>A. Right. So he\u2019s got some aunts and uncles that live right there in town. He has a couple of cousins that don\u2019t live that far away, and he has aunts and uncles that live in the Toledo area, which is like I said about 35 miles from where my sister lives.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I very seriously doubt that the kids have seen any of this extended family Rita mentions.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I suspect they see their grandmother regularly as they often mention that they&#8217;ve been there.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> I&#8217;m<\/span> not sure what&#8217;s happening with Rita and Debbie, but Rita said the kids barely spend time there.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> I&#8217;m<\/span> not sure this is true, but I&#8217;m not sure why Rita would lie about it.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I know Rita (and the kids, and pretty much everyone else) couldn&#8217;t take being around Debbie&#8217;s husband for long, so maybe he&#8217;s around more now.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Besides Debbie and their grandmother, the kids probably see their cousins yearly, as when they lived in Pennsylvania.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>They have not seen my brother&#8217;s kids in Maryland since they&#8217;ve moved.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>And they&#8217;ve seen my father once.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>A. Just a little bit north of that area, about 40 minutes away is my older brother Mark and his wife.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<br \/><\/span>Q. Do they have children?<br \/>A. They do. My brother\u2019s oldest daughter just recently moved back to the area, and she has four kids, and then Logan is about twenty minutes away, and he has a child, an infant, and then his wife has a daughter &#8212; or, has a son, Doug. He lives in Milan, which is about ten miles away. We actually see them quite a bit. Any time I come to visit, Doug and his wife and their kids come over, and my kids absolutely love it because Norma is close to Mae\u2019s age. They love playing together, and the little baby is &#8212; he\u2019s cute. Amanda loves little kids. So yeah, they see them every time we go there.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>Mark&#8217;s kids are much older than mine, so there was never much interaction with them besides James.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It is telling that Rita does not even mention James as one of Mark&#8217;s kids here while she mentions Doug, who is Mark&#8217;s stepson from his third marriage.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. And if the Court were to grant the relocation, how were you proposing to handle transportation?<br \/>A. I\u2019m pretty flexible I\u2019d be agreeable to meeting him halfway. I would even bring the kids all the way back. I don\u2019t mind the drive. It\u2019s a pretty easy drive. The kids travel well. They don\u2019t mind the trip at all.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>And the first time she was supposed to bring them back, she filed an emergency petition so she wouldn&#8217;t have to.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\"> It&#8217;s<\/span> also not clear what she was even considering with meeting me halfway.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>That would only make sense if she could get herself and Amanda apart, and I just couldn&#8217;t see that happening.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Her testimony shows that she had no plans on bringing the kids back to Pennsylvania much after she moved.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Unfortunately, Judge Ruest, not having kids and not being familiar with the situation, could not understand the problems and inconsistencies here.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>A. In the beginning, I wasn\u2019t really sure what it was, and over the years, it\u2019s gotten progressively worse. He spends a lot of time alone, on his computer. He said it calms him, it\u2019s what he likes to do. He would spend days in the bedroom just crying. He wouldn\u2019t eat. He wouldn\u2019t shower. He would miss a lot of work. He would get jittery, is what we call it. He would start off the morning very nervous, very jittery, and that would last several hours. He would sleep a big part of the day.<br \/>Q. When did you notice this pattern? When did you begin to?<br \/>A. When I was pregnant with Amanda, so ten years ago was probably the start of the major depression. He always had issues of being down in the spring and in the fall. You know, people get that way, but I ended up taking him to the hospital because I was quite concerned that he was so depressed and just so anxious, and those episodes seemed to have gotten worse, where he was back for a few days and he\u2019d be okay, and then they seemed to last days and days and days, and then he frequently falls back into being jittery and anxious.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>This exchange especially annoyed me because I realized Rita was willing to lie under oath deliberately to get what she wanted. The anxiety and depression issues certainly did not get worse over the years; they got much better. As I described previously, the first two episodes, in 2001 and 2002, were horrible and lasted for months. I recall another minor episode in the fall of 2005 in which, under a doctor&#8217;s supervision, I had stopped taking the medication.\u00a0 This episode didn&#8217;t last nearly as long because I immediately started retaking Zoloft when I had issues. However, even during the worst times, most days, I could function again and get some things done by the early evening.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I had graduate students to advise, and I would try during this time to stay up-to-date on what they were doing. Then until 2012, there were no significant issues and only the sporadic lousy day. The one episode in 2012 and the two in 2013 were acute but did not last for more than a few days.\u00a0 I have no idea how Rita could say things were getting progressively worse.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><!--nextpage-->The computer is not what relaxes me, as Rita claims; it&#8217;s the shower. While I cannot remember specifically, I cannot imagine I wasn&#8217;t showering at the very least every other day. When I&#8217;m depressed or anxious, I could spend the entire time in the shower if there was enough hot water. I think a lot of people are like this.<\/p>\r\n<p>I&#8217;m not sure what she means by saying I was always &#8220;down&#8221; in the spring and fall.\u00a0 I have had only one short anxiety attack in the spring, and until 2001 I had never had anything like this.\u00a0 Going through debilitating depression issues while in school would have been devastating academically, and I hate to see students deal with this. As I&#8217;ve mentioned, I have always been an anxious person and an overactive worrier, but what happened in and after 2001 was completely different. I recall seeing a public lecture at Penn State by chemistry professor <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Anne_M._Andrews\">Anne Andrews<\/a> who studies serotonin levels. She discussed how the combination of being an overly anxious person and having traumatic experiences correlates very well with someone having anxiety and depression issues. I feel like I would be a textbook case.<\/p>\r\n<p>These statements illustrate again Rita attempting to convince the judge that things were bad and getting worse. Making people fear for what could happen in the future is a great way to gain their support. Unfortunately, the boy that cried, &#8220;Wolf!&#8221; seems to have been forgotten.<\/p>\r\n<p>Later Rita would even lie about this more when she said the following.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Throughout the course of your marriage and the time he &#8212; you were experiencing this difficulty with him, did you have arguments about his being responsible to refill the prescription or not?<br \/>A. I didn\u2019t mind doing it, but I would get quite annoyed that he would let it run out and I didn\u2019t know or I would have to run out that day because he hadn\u2019t had it for a few days. In the summer, he was pretty forgetful about taking his medications because he wasn\u2019t on a regular schedule for work. So at those times, yes, I would get frustrated and have arguments with him. You need to take this. It says not to stop taking it abruptly and things like that, and it is something that has to be in your system several weeks for it to work and stay working.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. How often and when do you think those trips [to the hospital] were?<br \/>A. In the first few years of his major depression after Amanda was born, I would say he was hospitalized probably at least once or twice a year, and then it got better for a while, but still having issues but not needing hospitalization so much, and then it picked back up a little over the last few years.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I sometimes forgot to take my medication in the summers because I didn&#8217;t have a regular schedule. However, it was never more than a couple of times per week at the most. It also never really had any effect because, in the summer, I never had any problems. I have talked with doctors a few times about not taking it in the summers, but now it seems best to be consistent. I also don&#8217;t recall ever not taking it because the prescription had run out. I had a standing prescription from Dr. DeCarle for the medicine and could get more at any point. Plus, for most of the time, I would get a three-month supply in the mail.<\/p>\r\n<p>The statement about hospitalizations is entirely not true, and of course, she didn&#8217;t bring any proof to support her claim. As I&#8217;ve said, there were two hospitalizations in the twelve years before Rita filed for divorce, i.e., nowhere near &#8220;at least once or twice a year.&#8221; Unfortunately, I also didn&#8217;t have any evidence to dispute her.\u00a0 Again, this is one of the problems with civil hearings where you have no idea what a witness might say. Plus, disproving the claim would have required someone from the hospital to be willing to testify. I could have brought my medical records, but then Tonia would say they weren&#8217;t complete, with no third party to verify them. Dr. DeCarle, who would testify later, didn&#8217;t start seeing me until after the second year.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. So let\u2019s talk about, what is the current custody arrangement?<br \/>A. He has them on Thursdays and Sundays, 4:00 to 8:00 on Thursdays and 11:00 to 7:00 on Sundays.<br \/>Q. And when did that schedule begin?<br \/>A. I do believe it was the first part of May. May 1st I think was the first week it started.<br \/>Q. Was that new schedule something that the Court instituted? How did you come up with that schedule?<br \/>A. Basically, I came up with that schedule with you and I, and we submitted it to his attorney, and then Eric contacted me agreeing to it, and that\u2019s how we got started.<br \/>Q. Prior to that visitation schedule, what had the visitation periods been like with the children from January 2013 on?<br \/>A. He got ordered to have supervised visitation at the center here in Bellefonte, and that was once a week for two hours, if I remember correctly.<br \/>Q. And how often did you miss the supervised visits?<br \/>A. We never missed a visit. We had an incident where I do believe Mae or Amanda, one of them was sick, and I asked if we could reschedule. Any time something came up &#8212; we also had ice show rehearsals; that was an incident of we couldn\u2019t make that week. I said was there a different day that we can do. The center was pretty helpful about working out a different schedule, So he wouldn\u2019t actually miss the time. It might have switched days, and we actually I think one week &#8212; he had two visits in one week just to make up for that one time where I think it was during ice show, if I remember correctly.<br \/>Q. So let\u2019s talk about, what is the current custody arrangement?<br \/>A. He has them on Thursdays and Sundays, 4:00 to 8:00 on Thursdays and 11:00 to 7:00 on Sundays.<br \/>Q. And when did that schedule begin?<br \/>A. I do believe it was the first part of May. May 1st I think was the first week it started.<br \/>Q. Was that new schedule something that the Court instituted? How did you come up with that schedule?<br \/>A. Basically, I came up with that schedule with you and I, and we submitted it to his attorney, and then Eric contacted me agreeing to it, and that\u2019s how we got started.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>She acted like I had not been pushing to see the kids, and she had to force them on me. I had grown tired of fighting about custody time in the courts, which was also getting expensive, and agreed to her proposal because it seemed reasonable.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Prior to that visitation schedule, what had the visitation periods been like with the children from January 2013 on?<br \/>A. He got ordered to have supervised visitation at the center here in Bellefonte, and that was once a week for two hours, if I remember correctly.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I got ordered because Tonia threw an oversized fit in front of the judge that I was not mentally fit enough to have the kids unsupervised. The supervised visits went well, and the people supervising them told the court that they were unnecessary after a few of them.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. And how often did you miss the supervised visits?<br \/>A. We never missed a visit. We had an incident where I do believe Mae or Amanda, one of them was sick, and I asked if we could reschedule. Any time something came up &#8212; we also had ice show rehearsals; that was an incident of we couldn\u2019t make that week. I said was there a different day that we can do. The center was pretty helpful about working out a different schedule, So he wouldn\u2019t actually miss the time. It might have switched days, and we actually I think one week &#8212; he had two visits in one week just to make up for that one time where I think it was during ice show, if I remember correctly.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>This question was a preemptive one because Tonia <i>knew<\/i> Rita had missed visits because she was in Michigan. While one of the kids may have been sick, that would not have been an issue if she had been in Pennsylvania at the time. I do not recall rescheduling the missed visits because there was limited availability.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Okay. Since you have started this supervised visitation schedule, have there been missed days and times because of you?<br \/>A. I usually &#8212; if something comes up, for instance, I think Caleb had a field trip, I would say, the kids have a field trip or something, I said, what would you like to do, your thoughts on it, and I would work out a schedule that he wouldn&#8217;t miss his days.<\/p>\r\n<p>Q. Okay. I\u2019m showing you what\u2019s been marked as Plaintiff\u2019s Exhibit 15. Can you identify that for me?<br \/>A. Certainly. This is just a schedule I kept on the fridge so I would know when the kids were with Eric and keep track of the visits.<br \/>Q. Now during the period of May, did Mr. Mockensturm keep the children for the full period, the full four hours and full &#8212;<br \/>A. Part of my knowledge, just briefly looking over this, I don\u2019t think he ever kept them for the full four hours or the full time on a Sunday.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I don&#8217;t recall the actual arrangement at this point, but it seems pretty informal from text messages.\u00a0 These messages suggest Rita wanted my dad present, and I had agreed to this to appease her. Thus, many of the visits depended on my dad being free, which he was most of the time.<\/p>\r\n<p>Part of the problem was that the apartment was too small to contain two adults and three children. Plus, I had <em>nothing<\/em> there for them to do because Rita had kept all their things at the house. And even if they brought things, there was no place for them to use them. The apartment was barely large enough to contain a bed and a tiny kitchen area. Thus,\u00a0 I was always trying to find a place to take them. Finding somewhere to go would have been no problem if they had any of the same interests. However, a 14-year-old boy, an 11-year-old girl, and a 4-year-old girl have no overlapping interests. I see from text messages that I asked Rita many times to have them one or two at a time. She always refused.<\/p>\r\n<p>Rita would always tell me that it was the kids that wanted these restrictions. For example, she said it was the kids that wanted to visit together. When I would ask her why, she would\u00a0 tell me, &#8220;That&#8217;s what they said.&#8221; I think she knew that I&#8217;d likely never ask them directly about it, and if I did and they denied it, she could always say, &#8220;Well, that&#8217;s what they told <em>me<\/em>.&#8221; She also told me that the kids were the ones that wanted my dad to be there. When I pressed her on why this was, she said she&#8217;d promised them that she wouldn&#8217;t tell me. When I pressed her further, she said she&#8217;d need to talk to her lawyer.<\/p>\r\n<p>Next page&#8230;<\/p>\r\n<p><!--nextpage-->I never really figured out what was going on, but it wasn&#8217;t good, whatever it was. If the kids did feel that way, then Rita was undoubtedly the person embedding whatever crazy fears she had into them. If they did not feel that way, then Rita was trying to hide something. At that point, I didn&#8217;t care if she was trying to hide something. However, I do not think she knew that I knew about her relationship with Mike, as will be clear from Rose&#8217;s cross-examination.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. How many hours would he give up, for lack of a better word?<br \/>A. Usually the visits were like 4:00 to 8:00, and he would do like 5:00 to 7:00, and there were a few times I see he was gone. One Sunday I think he only did three hours, if I remember correctly. I think it was May 3rd; I think it says 5:00 to 7:00. This is kind of dark. I can\u2019t quite read what it says. And there was another Sunday he did like 4:30 to 7:15, and our agreement was 7:00, but he did text me to say could they be a few minutes late. But most times it\u2019s just a few hours here and there.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I was undoubtedly not picking them up late as we had an exchange place, and I would have text messages telling Rita I would be late. As is clear from the sample of text messages**, the custody schedule didn&#8217;t seem well established, and as Rita stated, it was something that had simply been agreed upon by the two of us.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Did &#8212; as a result of this sort of change in the physical custody schedule, did you begin receiving some text messages from Mr. Mockensturm?<br \/>A. Yeah. We were he was allowed to text me based on anything for the kids, from the kids\u2019 standpoint. He could ask me questions about the kids, how they were and things like that.<br \/>Q. I\u2019m showing you what\u2019s been marked as Plaintiff\u2019s Exhibit 16. Can you identify that for the record?<br \/>A. Sure. This is my cell phone that he uses to text me on.<br \/>Q. And can you just &#8212; in turning to page &#8212; just kind of explain to everybody why we\u2019re looking at a phone here.<br \/>A. This was a message he sent to me when we first started with this agreement. It says, I\u2019m not sure I can keep them all entertained for four hours.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>My records show I sent this message on April 30, 2013&#8211;see above&#8211;and it&#8217;s part of the first conversation we seem to have had via text message after the PFA was finally modified to allow this.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. Do you recall when this was sent to you?<br \/>A. I don\u2019t, and it\u2019s not on there. You have to actually scroll down to see it. I can\u2019t remember when it was sent.<br \/>Q. But was it sent within the time period that you\u2019ve been doing this &#8212;<br \/>A. Yes.<br \/>Q. &#8212; few hours of visitation?<br \/>A. This text message would coincide with sometime on this calendar here in May.<br \/>Q. Okay.<br \/>A. That was probably one of the very first visits he was supposed to have with them.<br \/>Q. Keep going through the text messages. Did you respond to these?<br \/>A. Some I do; some I don\u2019t. Some I honestly don\u2019t know what to say back, so I say nothing.<br \/>Q. So if you look at the next<br \/>A. He\u2019s always asking me it says, I\u2019ll try to figure something out to keep them all entertained. Any time he has a visit he texts me, what do you think I should do with the kids. I sometimes give suggestions. Like going to the library was my suggestion. Sometimes I ask the kids, what do you guys want to do, and I would relay that information to him.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I frequently asked her if they&#8217;d mentioned to her anything, in particular, they&#8217;d like to do so I could make plans for doing it. As seen in the sample text message exchanges, it was usually both of us bouncing around ideas. A lot depended on how Amanda was feeling and what she and Caleb had going on after school.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>Q. So if you look at the next text message exchange, can you explain the context of this text message and note for the Court the date?<br \/>A. Certainly. The reason I saved this one was because he was gone on the 12th. We had text back and forth, and I was getting confused on what days he said he was going to be gone. So I asked him if he could just text me the actual dates so I could write it down. It was just getting too confusing to try to figure out what days he was going to be gone.<br \/>Q. And as a result of that missed Sunday appointment, did you offer to make it up?<br \/>A. He asked if we could make it up, and that\u2019s when I said do you want to come on a Tuesday instead. So I know if he misses a day, if he wants to make it up, I certainly try to meet his needs. I will offer another day.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>The entire schedule seemed to be very fluid, as you can see from the text messages. These are very representative of what would typically happen. Something would come up with one of the kids, or they had plans, and we&#8217;d adjust the schedule. Likewise, if I had something to do, we would change things. As I later felt that Rita was using this nebulous schedule to her advantage and taking the kids to Michigan frequently, I pushed to get something from the court in writing.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>A. So that led up to this. He wrote okay, but you do remember it\u2019s your birthday, right? So that, I said she could go &#8212; what about tomorrow. Tomorrow wasn\u2019t good. Tuesday was better, which was my birthday and so &#8212; and then the next one says, I\u2019m such a good husband to remind you of your birthday but don\u2019t expect a present. I didn\u2019t respond to that text message. I didn\u2019t really know what to say to that, and that Tuesday of the 21st, which is my birthday, he did have them from 5:00 to 7:30.<br \/>Q. So what\u2019s that last text message, though?<br \/>A. You can give them some money, and I can take them shopping, with a smirky smiley face I guess is what you\u2019d call it.<br \/>Q. And what was that in reference to?<br \/>A. I assume what he was getting at was that if I gave them money he could take them birthday shopping for me.<br \/>Q. There\u2019s a Protection From Abuse Order in this matter, correct?<br \/>A. Yes.<br \/><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Now, those last couple of text messages that you received, did you call the police?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. I &#8212;<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. On those specific text messages, did you?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. Honestly, I don\u2019t remember if I did or not. I think I might have called to ask them if that was a violation or not. I didn\u2019t pursue it as a violation. I just &#8212; I wanted to know, so I had clarity on what my protection was.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. When he sent that to you, how did you feel? Did you have any concerns, and if so, can you explain those to the Court?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. It was unsettling, very uncomfortable. It wasn\u2019t anything to do with the kids, so it upset me, and although he probably thought it was funny, I didn\u2019t find it funny at all. And it made me pretty mad.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Now, since the entry of the PFA I\u2019m showing you what\u2019s been marked as Plaintiff\u2019s Exhibit 13. Can you identify that for the record?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. That is a computer that is up in my room that I sometimes use and what my kids use for doing homework and stuff on. That\u2019s a screen shot of that computer.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Can you explain what this is a screen shot of?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. This is &#8212; basically, you have a program, I think it\u2019s on your iPhone, your iPad or any Apple product has the reminders. So it\u2019s like a calendar that pops up. It tells you what your reminders are for the day. So this popped up on my computer or family computer at home, and my son was sitting down to do homework when this came up.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. And is this a screen shot of your phone?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. No. This is a screen shot of the computer that Caleb was sitting in front of.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. And what is that a screen shot of?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. That\u2019s Eric\u2019s To Do list essentially.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. What is at the top of his To Do list?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. Fuck with Rita.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. I know this is a bad copy, but can you discern what the date of that is?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. It looks like January 13, 2013.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. What was your son\u2019s reaction to this?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. He yelled. He was mad. He made a fist and hit the desk. He is like, why is dad saying these things about you. He was pretty hurt, and then he got scared.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Keep going through that document; what\u2019s the next thing we\u2019re looking at?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. I\u2019m not sure which iPod it was, Caleb\u2019s or Amanda\u2019s. They both look the same, but the calendar alarmed. We don\u2019t have them on wifi so occasionally when we can pick up a free wifi or we get wifi, this is Eric\u2019s calendar that he has that syncs up with their devices basically. He set up their iPods. He has their Apple ID and their passwords and stuff, and this is his calendar, and this popped up as an alarm on I do believe it was Amanda\u2019s iPod.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Okay, and what does it say?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. It\u2019s that bitch\u2019s mom\u2019s birthday.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. The, the &#8212;<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. I\u2019m sorry, the bitch\u2019s mom\u2019s birthday.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. How did you take this?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. This is about my mom, but it\u2019s more about me.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Okay, and the date of that?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. February 14th.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. What year?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. 2013.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Now, what are we looking at here as it relates to &#8212;<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. The next ones are Facebook posts that he wrote.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Can you just read that?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. Certainly. I would like to thank everyone for their thoughts and offers to talk.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">THE WITNESS: Sorry. I would like to thank everyone for their thoughts and offers to talk. I spent most of the morning running around, and I have a place to stay temporarily. After pouring over HR policies, I think my job is pretty secure although I\u2019m not sure I want it. I\u2019m still looking for a new wife.<\/span><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\" style=\"font-size: inherit;\"> <br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">BY MS. TORQUATO:<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. And the one below.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. Spent the night calculating finances and moving on as a single man. Someone is going to shit their pants sometime later today.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. And when did you discover these?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. My sister-in-law called me. She was quite concerned, and he\u2019s friends with her on Facebook, but not only is he friends with her I have a lot &#8212; we have a lot of childhood friends in common. We worked in the same areas and stuff through high school. I had some friends calling me that said these were being posted, and they were concerned for my safety.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">THE WITNESS: I met lots of people on both sides of the law with lots of devious ways to get back at women falsely accusing them of abuse. Lots of information to parse. And that was posted &#8212; I don\u2019t see the date on here, but I do know that was posted on the day he was released from jail.<\/span><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\" style=\"font-size: inherit;\"> <br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Okay. Let\u2019s stop there for a second. How do these postings make you feel?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. I was quite scared honestly. I didn\u2019t know exactly what he meant by some of them. I certainly didn\u2019t know what he was going to say or not say to the kids, if it was going to be truthful or not. I had no idea. Every day I woke up not knowing what I was going to face, and I certainly think that was his goal, was making me scared every day, and he did.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Have you told your kids not to tell Mr. Mockensturm your whereabouts?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. Yes.<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Q. Why?<br \/><\/span><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">A. I don\u2019t want him knowing where I\u2019m at. I\u2019ve been trapped in the past by him, and I didn\u2019t like it, and with the PFA and everything, I just think it\u2019s in the best interest that he not know where I\u2019m at so nothing would happen with me or even happen with the kids. I kept it I told them, you know, let\u2019s just not do it because it\u2019s really in my best interest, and I didn\u2019t tell them why. I just told them, you know, it\u2019s better if doesn\u2019t know. And they know about the PFA. They were there when the police came, and they know some extent of it, and I just said, you know, it\u2019s better if we don\u2019t say anything to dad. And it was for my safety. I really didn\u2019t want him to know where I was at.<\/span><\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>Again, I regret these actions, but I had no idea anyone else could see anything but the Facebook post.\u00a0 The birthday-present comment was half-serious as it would have been something they all might have liked doing.\u00a0 However, I didn&#8217;t want to spend money on a gift for her.<\/p>\r\n<p>I have no idea what she&#8217;s talking about being trapped by me.\u00a0 I never physically trapped her, and I don&#8217;t think she felt emotionally or psychologically trapped.\u00a0 I can see how she might have felt financially trapped, but I could do nothing about that.\u00a0 I certainly wasn&#8217;t giving her an allowance; she handled the finances for many years. It&#8217;s possible she felt trapped by my worrying, and we certainly didn&#8217;t always agree on how much time to spend in Michigan.<\/p>\r\n<p>I have included the entire cross-examination Rose did of Rita because it addresses many things that she testified to during direct examination. This part is also where the real courtroom drama started as Rose&#8217;s first question to Rita was, &#8220;What about Mike?&#8221; After Tonia realized that Rita had had an affair with him, she flipped out and tried to object to Rose asking Rita about it, but Judge Ruest overruled it, and Rita just responded, &#8220;Yep.&#8221;<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>CROSS-EXAMINATION<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<br \/><\/span>BY MS. KAUFFMAN:<br \/>Q. So what about Mike?<br \/>A. What about Mike?<br \/>Q. Yes; what about Mike?<br \/>A. What do you want to know?<br \/>Q. Well, isn\u2019t it true one of the reasons &#8212; one of the very big reasons you\u2019re moving back to Michigan is because of Mike?<br \/>A. No.<br \/>Q. Mike has nothing to do with why you\u2019re moving back to Michigan?<br \/>A. He has nothing to do with it.<br \/>Q. Mike lives in Michigan?<br \/>A. Yes, he does.<br \/>Q. And you\u2019ve been having an affair with Mike for over a year-and-a-half.<br \/>MS. TORQUATO: Objection; relevance.<br \/>MS. KAUFFMAN: I think it is exactly relevant to your witness and her reasons for wanting to move to Michigan.<br \/>MS. TORQUATO: You can ask what you\u2019ve asked, but to ask whether she\u2019s been having an affair is not relevant.<br \/>MS. KAUFFMAN: It is relevant because it\u2019s relevant as to why she\u2019s moving back to Michigan.<br \/>THE COURT: Overruled.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<br \/><\/span>BY MS. KAUFFMAN:<br \/>Q. So you\u2019ve been having an affair with Mike for over a year-and-a-half?<br \/>A. Yep.<br \/>Q. And you\u2019ve met with Mike, left the kids sometimes with Mr. Mockensturm to go to see Mike?<br \/>A. And other people.<br \/>Q. And you\u2019ve left the kids with other people to go to see Mike?<br \/>A. Yes. I mean, I have left my kids with my sister while I job hunt in Michigan, but not just to see Mike.<br \/>Q. But you have seen Mike when you\u2019re in Michigan?<br \/>A. Certainly.<br \/>Q. And the kids have stayed overnight at Mike\u2019s house?<br \/>A. A couple of times.<br \/>Q. And in fact, you indicated earlier that you had a &#8212; twice you had to cancel meetings when they were supervised because once Amanda was sick, and the second there was an ice show rehearsal; do you remember that?<br \/>A. That\u2019s correct.<br \/>Q. But your sister testified that at that time you were in Michigan; isn\u2019t that true?<br \/>A. My sister took the kids one time to visitation. That is true.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>It was news to me that Debbie brought the kids to one supervised visitation.\u00a0 Reading this indicates that Rita was in Michigan at the time, and Debbie drove them to Pennsylvania for my visit and then drove them back to Michigan afterward.\u00a0 This visit must have been the time Amanda was so upset.\u00a0 I feel horrible about this because she must have been having a nervous breakdown for the entire trip.\u00a0 Amanda did eventually settle down, so I hope the trip back wasn&#8217;t as horrible.\u00a0 I wish she&#8217;d have just told me what was wrong, but I suspect she thought it would look bad on her mom.<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The day Rita filed the PFA petition, she filed a petition to relocate the kids to Michigan.\u00a0 This initial battle would drag out for quite some time as Rita switched attorneys and the courts seemed in no rush to get anything scheduled.\u00a0 The filing, contained in the image gallery, includes some information worth discussing.\u00a0 Rita [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_oasis_is_in_workflow":0,"_oasis_original":0,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-359","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/359","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=359"}],"version-history":[{"count":59,"href":"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/359\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2493,"href":"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/359\/revisions\/2493"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unstablefocus.mynetgear.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=359"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}